She's satisfied, he wants more — and different
 | NBC VIDEO |
 | MSNBC/Elle magazine's sex survey May 9: The "Today" show's Natalie Morales talks with Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist, and Elle magazine's Roberta Myers about the survey results. Today show |
| NBC VIDEO |
 | Who's getting satisfaction? May 9: The Elle/MSNBC sex survey finds a disconnect in the bedroom when it comes to longterm relationships. MSNBC.com's Jane Weaver discusses the results. MSNBC |
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Both men and women reported a drop-off in passion after two years together, but being together a long time doesn't necessarily mean the end of bedroom bliss, even if it means a little less quantity.
A key finding was that 97 percent of men and women who reported being very satisfied with their sex lives said they are happy with their partner overall.
Couples who reported good sexual communication and were open to trying new bedroom tricks reported being quite satisfied even decades after they met. Of couples who have been together six years or more, 34 percent said their passion is as strong as in the early days. Even after up to 20 years, one in three couples is still having a fabulous sex life.
Taking sex seriously
"Overall, the people who take their sex life seriously are the people who have the best sex," says Leiblum. "People who do the same old, same old are the ones who report that sex is boring."
The new survey’s positive picture of women’s sex lives seems to contradict the stereotype of the “hurried woman syndrome,” where overworked, stressed-out females collapse in bed on a regular basis, too tired to muster up an orgasm. Even still, 42 percent of women cited stress or being too busy as reasons why they didn't have sex at one point or another in the prior month.
One exception to the overall positive picture for women is the large group — nearly 25 percent — whose negative body image prevents them from feeling sexy. Only one in 20 guys said they felt that way, the survey found.
"It's not just that women feel bad about their bodies," says Lever. "It has a distinct carryover into their sex lives. Even if their partner finds them beautiful, the women still don’t feel attractive enough to take off their clothes and have sex."
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