Because he had been dishonest and sneaky (swiping liquor from his folks’ cabinet, smoking a joint on the walk to school), I instructed the family to avoid trust situations for the present. That meant that they were not to take Chas’s word that he was abstinent — he had too great a history of lying and sneaking, and most likely would revert to that if given the chance. We had to go in for the kill to help motivate him to stop using, and I suggested employing regular urine drug screens as well as alcohol tests. The drug screens were given at the pediatrician’s lab, and Chas went every 2 to 3 weeks. His parents bought an Alco-Screen product from the local pharmacy to keep his drinking behavior in check.

Almost immediately these measures were successful. Once Chas knew for sure that his folks would be administering these screening devices, he was smart enough to knock off the drug and alcohol usage. His parents also paid closer attention to his whereabouts and the people that he was hanging out with, and his free time was initially restricted to supervised activities. Because Chas knew that he would be caught red-handed, he stopped using. The screening measures gave him the motivation to no longer use substances as well as a convenient excuse to use with his friends when they tried to pressure him into partying.

Well, I’ve worked with Chas for over 2 years now, and he continues to stay clean and sober. I have little doubt, though, that had we screened for only a few months, Chas would have returned to his druggie behavior and usage. That stuff is so addictive that it not only becomes a psychological habit but can also result in physiological addiction. The most important motivator was his fear of getting caught using, with the consequence being sent to a drug rehabilitation center. This reaction to drug and alcohol screens is not unusual for tweens and teens. Most will stop using substances if they believe two things: That their folks will really pay for, and take the time to arrange for, the drug screens, and that if the reading comes out positive, then a tour of duty at a drug rehab is in order.

A couple of years ago I was involved as an expert on The Oprah Winfrey Show on a program entitled “I Was a Parent in Denial.” It was a great hour, but the most important point, in my opinion, was that every one of the teens on the show admitted that had their folks employed drug screens, especially early in their substance abuse careers, they would have stopped using out of fear of getting caught and the consequences they would have had to face. Pretty powerful stuff those screening devices, and I highly recommend them to parents who have reason to believe that their child is using. Now, I wouldn’t drag every kid into the laboratory and have them pee in a bottle just because the technique works — only kids who have “drawn first blood.” That is, they have shown signs and symptoms of substance use, and you are suspicious of what they are into. It’s insulting for a straight kid to be accused of using, so please be fair in your assessment and your behavior.

Living the Law

Talk to your kids about substance use and abuse. Studies have shown that parents who hold conversations (notice the plural, not just one quick lecture on the way to the ballpark) about the pitfalls of drug and alcohol use help to prevent addiction in their children. In your own discussions with the kids, give examples of people they know who have faced difficult consequences because of substances, such as dropping out of school, poor health, divorce, loss of job, and family upheaval.

Discuss media and peer pressure. Your children are besieged with images, both visual and auditory, about how cool it may be to use drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes. To combat this, supervise their TV viewing and music choices, and discuss how peers may pressure your children to engage in substance use. Promote a home environment that allows for and invites communication on this topic.

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Be a good role model. Don’t do drugs yourself. I don’t care that it’s “only marijuana” — it’s illegal, addictive, and a lousy way to bring up your kids. If you drink alcohol, do so responsibly. Never, ever drink and go near the wheel of a car. Never, ever. Be sure your kids know this is your policy and how serious you are about drinking and driving. Consider abstaining from alcohol yourself — you may be surprised at how nice life is when you are consistently sober.

Make it a point to let your children hear you when you politely turn down drinks, especially when you’re driving. This will clearly show them how easy it is to say “no” and still have a good time without alcohol.

Make substance abstinence for your kids, and perhaps for yourself, part of your family code of values. This is one of the biggies, folks, right up there with building honesty, responsibility, and self-discipline. Set up a rule banning all kid substance use (including cigarettes) and stick to it. If you need to employ alcohol or drug screens to get their attention and motivation, do it. Don’t back down on this one!

From “Laying Down the Law: The 25 Laws of Parenting to Keep Your Kids on Track, Out of Trouble, and (Pretty Much) Under Control,” by Dr. Ruth Peters. Copyright ©2002 by Dr. Ruth Peters. Excerpted by permission of Rodale. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

Dr. Peters is a clinical psychologist and regular contributor to “Today.” For more information you can visit her Web site at www.ruthpeters.com. Copyright ©2006 by Ruth A. Peters, Ph.D. All rights reserved.

PLEASE NOTE: The information in this column should not be construed as providing specific psychological or medical advice, but rather to offer readers information to better understand the lives and health of themselves and their children. It is not intended to provide an alternative to professional treatment or to replace the services of a physician, psychiatrist or psychotherapist.

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