Emotional issues:

What if the other kids don’t like me? Ugh, the dreaded fear of many children. Empathize with your child, telling her that most kids have a little worry about this, but are pleasantly surprised at how nice and friendly the children are. Remind her that all of her fellow students will be new to the situation and needing to make friends. Explain that she’ll be placed, most likely, at a table with a few other kids and that she’ll have a chance to quickly get to know them. Recess is also a great place to make friends, as is lunch. You may want to role-play some “small talk” with your child, especially if she is on the shy side. Rehearse with dolls or stuffed animals before the school year begins. Try scripts like, “Hi, my name is Megan, what’s yours?” That’s sure to get a positive response as well as being a good conversation starter. Discuss how to join into others’ games, by saying — “Hey, that looks like fun and I know how to play four-square. Can I have a turn?” Another sure bet is to invite another kid to sit next to your child during snack time or recess. Explain to your child how others are probably feeling just as nervous or uncertain, and will love being invited to sit with, share activities or play with your child.

What if you don’t pick me up on time? That’s a common fear of little ones, and something that is usually under your control. Tell her that you’ll be in the car line on time (but don’t promise to be first — that’s definitely not always an option and really scares the kids when they don’t see your car heading up the line!). Let her know that she may have to wait a few minutes for you, but that’s normal and nothing is wrong. If your child rides a bus home or a van to day care, explain the process and how the adults will make sure that she’ll be safe.

What if the teacher doesn’t like me? Explain to your child that kindergarten teachers are perhaps the nicest folks on earth! They’ve chosen to work with little ones because they love children and are usually warm, funny and understanding people. Emphasize how your child can trust the teacher and go to him or her with any concerns.

What if I’m the dumbest kid in the class? This is a good entrée to getting out the crayons, pencils and scissors and reviewing with your little one some of the skills that will be needed in class. Review the colors, shapes and the alphabet letters that she knows. Practice cutting, coloring and copying — but don’t overdo it. Praise her effort (regardless of the final product) and let her know that she’s right on target for the beginning of the school year. Emphasize that raising her hand to answer questions (and not calling out the answers), sitting quietly on the circle line and staying in her seat are responsibilities and skills that will need to be finely honed. It’s a good time to begin working on some of these at home, in the weeks before school begins.

And don’t forget the excitement of shopping for the lunchbox, book bag and school clothes. Many kids love to wear a new outfit the first day, but don’t be surprised if your child decides on something that he wore at preschool. It may be comforting to take a bit of the old with him as he enters into the new!

Finally, if possible, visit the school beforehand. Try playing on the playground and looking into the classroom windows, or take a tour if it's available. Review the floor plan of the building, at least the part between arrival at school and finding her classroom. Discuss how you’ll handle that the first few days of school. If you can, arrange for a short meeting with the teacher and a quick look at the classroom. Be prepared for a bit of clinginess the first week or so. Then, on the first day of school, hand the child over to the teacher (she’s the expert on this) and try to have a good day!

Grade school kids
Children in the older grade school years are concerned about many of the above-mentioned issues, but are also becoming more keenly aware of the challenges of academics as well as fitting in with peers. They tend to be concerned about:

• Will they understand the material and answer correctly in class
• Will classmates laugh at them if a mistake is made
• Whether the teacher will be understanding or take strictness to a new level
• Whether they can keep up with the kids on the playground or in P.E. class
• Whether they will be chosen for sports teams or have to endure the embarrassment of being last
• How appropriate their new clothes are and whether their “look” will fit in
• What if there is a bully and how they should handle it
• Who they can hang around with before the first bell rings in the morning
• How to start a conversation that doesn’t sound dumb
• Whether the kids who teased last year will still be focused upon them
• If their old friends will still be at school and available and want to hang around together

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