Dr. Ruth Peters TODAY contributor • Profile • E-mail

Finally, your teen has graduated high school, been accepted at a college and is moving to the dorm. If you think that the difficult stuff is over, well, think again! Going off to college can be a great experience, but it’s a complicated affair involving more decisions than perhaps you bargained for! Prepared families seem to fare better, so let’s take a gander at some of the decisions to be made and options to be considered.

Packing up
Assuming you’ve all survived the summer in one piece, the going off to college routine really has several distinct parts to it. First comes the difficult distinction between “what I want to take with me” vs. “what I have room for and what the college will allow in a dorm.” Usually the two are very different. Kids want to take a lot — their computer, stereo/CD system, all of their clothes, music, pictures, yearbooks and the list goes on. Trust me, there is not enough room for all of that! Dormitories are usually tiny, cramped spaces and the kid generally has to share it with at least one other person. So forget the knickknacks and stick to the basics. Every college or university offers a list of necessary items to bring — just check their web site or call the housing or admissions offices for further information. You can always send items at a later date if it is really necessary. And, keep in mind that stuff gets stolen at school. I don’t care if it is an Ivy League school or a tiny institution — if the item isn’t tied down or locked up consider it at risk. Laptop computers should have the capability to be locked to the desk (yes, there is a locking device available just for that purpose) and credit cards, cash, digital cameras as well as other valuables should be kept in a locked file cabinet in the student’s room. And, it should be kept locked as well as the door to the room.

Physically okay?
If your teen is like most others, the last place they want to visit is the infirmary. So, please be sure that their medications (for allergies, asthma, and birth control if that is an issue) are up-to-date and packed. It’s a good idea to have your teen get a physical with his or her pediatrician or physician, just to make sure that everything is working well and that there are no physical limitations that have to be addressed. Make sure that all vaccinations are updated — measles, mumps and rubella vaccines should have been given at one and five years of age for entrance into all public schools. Make sure that your child has had the hepatitis B vaccine, as well as Menactra — a newer vaccine for meningitis that is specific to the strain that appears to haunt the halls of college dormitories. In fact, many parents are having their younger children who attend camps at colleges during the summer get the Menactra shot before leaving. Also, please ask your teen’s physician to speak a bit about exercise, nutrition and the dreaded “Freshman 15” — the 5 to 15 pound weight gain that many kids experience during the first year or so of college. Review healthy food choices and where the child can exercise cheaply (or for free), safely and conveniently.

Emotionally okay?
You know your son or daughter better than anyone, and if you sense more than a bit of anxiety about the move be sure to address that. Many kids have fears about not being able to fit in, making friends, leaving old buddies or loves, and how they’ll fare without Mom or Dad to talk to on a daily basis. Some teens, of course, are raring to go and won’t give it a second thought, but many, many fresh high school graduates are fearful of the unknown. Some may even be depressed about leaving home or their old friends. Consider engaging in counseling if you and your child can’t figure out the feelings and resolve them — a good counselor can let you know what will help your teen to feel more comfortable with the move (coming home on weekends, or not seeing you too often; getting a nudge to join a service or social fraternity or becoming involved in their religious organization). Thinking and talking about fears and concerns ahead of time will make the transition much more successful and pleasant.

Life skills and life lines
Okay, so you have the list of what will be brought to school and what stays home. Next, it’s time to make sure that your teenager has been taught some basic life skills. This doesn’t necessarily mean that he will use these skills, but at least you’ve explained the procedure and will feel a tad less guilt should he fall on his face!

Before the big day, be sure that your child has done at least a load or two of laundry, including moving the wet stuff to the dryer part of the process. Consider a discussion of darks vs. lights, and mention the concept of bleach for the white socks and underclothes, but don’t expect too much interest. Hey, it’s his stuff and if he wants to wear pink T-shirts that’s his problem! Most dorms have irons and ironing boards available in the office, so you may want to show the kid how to get out the wrinkles, but he probably won’t be paying close attention. Consider purchasing a spray bottle of wrinkle releaser instead. For the really lazy and smelly kids, there are several products designed to cover up odors (on couches, carpets, etc.) but college kids will spray it on their clothes rather than hit the dorm laundromat. The laundromat is also a prime place to get stuff stolen, as many kids are not willing to sit through a complete wash and dry cycle to make sure that their clothing is not taken. Most just bring the laundry home on visits hoping that Mom or Dad will do it.

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