Vagueness fuels imaginations
Online profiles inherently provide limited pictures of people, a level of vagueness that is fuel, Norton said, for love-seeking imaginations.

“Because people so much want to find somebody, we find that they read into the profile. They kind of see that person as a good match for them, and that they have a lot in common,” Norton told LiveScience.

“And when they finally meet in person, they find out it’s just a regular person like everybody else. They end up being disappointed again.”

Little white lies add to the inflated expectations. “One of the reasons people are so optimistic when they read these things is because everybody kind of shades their profile a little bit more positive then maybe it should be,” Norton said.

A separate recent study of four dating sites — Match.com, Yahoo Personals, American Singles and Webdate — revealed common fibs in the name of love. Profiles were corroborated with real-life measurements of a sample of users. About half of the men lied about their height, adding at least a half inch to their stature, while more than 60 percent of all participants skewed their weight by 5 pounds or more. 

Norton and his colleagues are developing ways for online daters to stay grounded in reality as they navigate the virtual world of romance.

In one study, Frost, the MIT researcher, designed an online interface in which people meet for “virtual dates.” For instance, you and a prospective date would each play an avatar and wander through an art gallery together. Though it’s nowhere near an in-person encounter, Norton said you can get a feel for whether the person is funny or a good listener.

“People also will use their avatars to flirt so you can go a little closer or a little farther away,” Norton said.

The main message from the group’s study, Norton said, is that people should realize that the rules for online dating and real-world dating are the same. In the real world, “You’re accustomed to it being difficult to find people; you’re accustomed to meeting people and not really clicking,” Norton said. “Don’t assume that because you log onto a Web site and there are all these options that it’s going to be any easier.”

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