4. If necessary, approach the school together: If the bullying behavior gets worse or doesn't stop, then strategize with your child about who in the school can be your advocate, a teacher, coach, counselor, etc. Go to them, articulating exactly what is happening, what you want stopped and what you want to happen instead. Make sure your child advocates for themselves. They should know that you — their parent — has their back, but let them do the talking.

It is important that they speak for themselves as much as possible. If nothing is working and there is no change, then go to the person at your school who is in charge if discipline - usually a vice principal or principal.

Q. Can you ever approach other parents?
A. Yes. You can approach other parents but you have to be smart about it. You call them and say, is now a good time to talk? If it's not, make a time to call again. But if it is, say "Thanks so much for taking my call." Identify yourself as your child's mother. You have to express how hard a call this is to make and describe what is happening to your child. Say exactly what your child said. Don't beat around the bush. Ask the other parent for their help to make sure this stops.

If they say it's just kids being kids, you say, "Just because it's common doesn't make it right. I'm really asking for you to help me."

It's important that you keep your cool when you call. Stress that you know these things can go both ways and mention your availability should anything happen in the reverse.

Q. When it comes to reporting bullying to authorities, a lot of kids are afraid because they don't want to make the situation worse. What do you tell them?
A. Many parents and kids are reluctant to report beaus they will make the problem worse. here is way to understand the difference between Reporting Vs. Snitching.

Snitching is giving information with the intention of getting the other person in trouble.

Reporting has the best interests of others in mind and involves telling a trusted adult so they can help solve a problem that is bigger than you. It's goal is to right a wrong.

A person reports a problem with the intention of making the problem go away while a person snitches with the intention of making  the problem bigger or more public.

Here's a sample example of how you child can handle being confronted by a bully or other kids after your child has reported a problem:

"I can't believe you got them/me in trouble…"

Stop: Breath deeply and remember why you told.

Explain: I reported that…(Keep it general and brief. You don't owe them details).

Request: If you disagree with me, I totally understand that. I'm asking you that you not talk to other people in a way that makes fun of me. I know I can't control that but I am asking you not to.

Affirm: They didn't get in trouble because I reported it. They got in trouble because they did it. I have the right to be at this school and report something that I think is dangerous or could get me in trouble.

Rosalind Wisseman is the founder of the Empower Program, a national violence-prevention program. She is also the author of "Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence," published by Crown in May 2002, and was the basis for the 2004 hit movie, "Mean Girls." For more parenting tips, visit RosalindWiseman.com

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