Trying to keep up? You're jonesing for debt

Don't get ahead of yourself
You might be tempted to buy a big fancy house, and maybe you can even pay the mortgage. But what about the other expenses that go along with it? Furniture? Health? And that's not all. If you live in a well-off neighborhood, you're buying into a lifestyle, and the pressure to keep up may catch up with you.

"Fitting in with those around you ends up being a huge cost," said Boss, "so where you're going to live is an important decision." For the book, she interviewed a bankrupt couple in a gated community in Orlando, Fla. They were able to juggle the mortgage payments just fine, but the culture — country clubs, expensive dinners — put them over the edge.

Widen your pool of comparison
Our natural instinct is to compare upward only, but rarely do we look at those less fortunate. "We're going to compare," Sanderson explained, "but we can chose the dimension." Just a short drive through a less privileged neighborhood can change your outlook, but an even better solution is doing some volunteer work.

Check out a local soup kitchen or after-school program that allows you to create personal connections with the people you're helping. The experience will not only reinforce how lucky you are, but it'll also give you a taste of the problems experienced by others, offering some much-needed perspective.

Spend your money the right way
First, save up for what you really want. Not only will it give those credit cards a rest, it'll weed out the jealousy-driven buys from the things you honestly value.

Then, to get the most return, put that money into experiences, like vacations, classes, concerts and the theater. "If there are things that people are spending money on that are providing them with a sense of internal motivation, that is highly correlated with happiness — taking a trip to do something that you find rewarding, for example," Sanderson noted. These experiences create memories that aren't as easily taken for granted.

With reporting by Arielle McGowen.

Jean Chatzky is an editor-at-large at Money magazine and serves as AOL's official Money Coach. She is the personal finance editor for NBC's "Today Show" and is also a columnist for Life magazine. She is the author of four books, including "Pay It Down! From Debt to Wealth on $10 a Day" (Portfolio, 2004). To find out more, visit her Web site, www.jeanchatzky.com.

MORE FROM TECHNOLOGY & MONEY

Technology & Money Section Front

Dad lost his job, so this family lives on the road Living on the road full-time: Is it right for you? Do you need a mini money makeover?   Insider shares shopping secrets   Ford unveils inflatable seat belts   Experts offer financial advice Recession over? Readers don't believe it   How to deal with rising credit card rates   U.K. gets tough on distracted drivers   College dorms get an upgrade Technology & Money Section Front   Add Technology & Money headlines to your news reader: