Who loves Miss Bimbo? According to Sweet Potato’s keeper, it’s ironic hipster chicks, granola-y “Keep your laws off my Birkenstocks” women who want to walk on the online wild side, and males of the species who enjoy playing virtual dress up.

“Oh, and the tiny tots of crappy, crappy parents,” she adds.

In one of the rare minutes Netiquette is able to access the site, the Bimbo challenge board reveals 50 Bimbos in the game. The majority list their real-life ages in their 20s, a bunch a 30s, a few 18-year-olds, a 40-something, a ‘tween and two 8 to 10-year-olds. And since no one lies about anything on the Internet, that proves there’s no problem.

Meanwhile, it’s easy to see Miss Bimbo’s goofing-off appeal for hardworking grownups. The game is only worth ten to 20 minutes of play per day. You can shop for some new (and atrocious) threads, hook up with a fake boy, and play Sudoku and puzzles, all of which earn your avatar precious Bimbo Attitude points and Bimbo dollars. You also get to face off against other bimbos in tacky challenges.

These contests of skank pit bimbos head-to-head. Participants can play against each other to win righteous Bimbo dollars, or just the satisfaction of besting a lesser bimbo. The site software judges the Bimbos on their Attitude points and high-priced duds. Sweet Potato likes to compete in her hot pink cotillion number teamed up with her rhinestone “Bimbo” belt and matching tiara — it’s the most expensive outfit on the site. (More than $21K in Bimbo dollars!)

Accessory pets add big Attitude points for Bimbos. But you can’t be a Paris Hilton about it. If your Bimbo doesn’t properly care for her living doo-dad (feed it, clean its litter box, give it attention, dress it accordingly), the Bimbo version of ASPCA will take it away.

What’s more, you have to take care of your online paper doll — feed her, take her to the gym, etc. Sweet Potato visits her psychiatrist almost daily. Players also work toward long-term goals, such as building a relationship, landing a good apartment, and moving up through the working ranks. For example, Sweet Potato is training to be a nurse. She also spends a lot of time in the Miss Bimbo library, which increases her I.Q. At 174, she’s one smart strumpet!

Inevitably, if you want to level up quickly in the game, you’re going to spend some real-life Bimbo dollars (a.k.a. money). That alone should separate the grownups from the kiddies and their Bratz dolls. If your kid has access to your Paypal account … well, see “crappy, crappy parents” above.

In the end, we need not fear for Miss Bimbo destroying the future for our daughters. We only need recall the wise words of British comedian Marcus Brigstocke, who chimed in on the alleged dangers of computer games ages ago. “Computer games don’t affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we’d all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive music.”

Oh wait …

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