What would happen to your kids if you ...

Page A: Courtney calls the police.

Because you and your spouse did not have any sort of plan in place as to what Courtney should do if something like this happened, Courtney does not know she should wait to call the police until your children are safely in the hands of someone who has clear authority to stay with them in the event of your absence.

When the police arrive, they question Courtney and ask if you have any relatives in town. Courtney does not know of any. The police try locating an executive at your spouse’s marketing firm, but by this time, the office is closed.

“We’ll take over from here; you can go home,” they finally tell Courtney after questioning her.

“What will happen to Carlos and Sara?” asks Courtney.

The police let Courtney know that Child Protective Services will be responsible for Carlos’ and Sara’s care until they locate you, your spouse, or another family member and run the necessary background checks.

Courtney volunteers to keep the children with her overnight, but the authorities do not know anything about Courtney. Leaving Carlos and Sara in her care without any legal documentation giving her authority is a potential liability for the authorities.

“No ma’am. You have got to go home now. The kids will be fine,” the police say in response to Courtney’s continued pleading that they allow the children to remain in her care.

Courtney refuses to leave until Child Protective Services arrives. She packs overnight bags for your children and promises they will be back home the next morning. When the social worker from Child Protective Services arrives, four-year-old Sara begins sobbing. She clings to Courtney and refuses to let go. When the social worker tries to pry Sara’s fingers away, Courtney and steady-tempered Carlos, now 11 years old, both begin crying. “This is ridiculous!” Courtney tells the police and social worker. “The children want to stay with me, and I want them to stay with me. What is the problem?”

The police explain the problem: Courtney has no documentation of her authority to stay with the children. Without such documentation, the police and Child Protective Services are legally responsible for the children. The police and social worker both think Courtney is too young to care for young children overnight. And, when they run a background check on her, they discover that when Courtney was 17 and at a party following her high school graduation, she was arrested for possession of alcohol.

“You need to leave, ma’am,” the police officer finally tells Courtney forcefully. He needs to focus on your whereabouts, and Courtney’s refusal to leave is slowing down the investigation. Giving your children a final embrace, Courtney has no choice but to leave. As she pulls away, she watches your children climb into the social worker’s car.

The police call the local hospitals and are able to confirm your death. The police alert the social worker, who tells your children you are not coming home.

Because your spouse cannot be located, your children are put in the care of a foster family: Joe and Savannah Liardino. The Liardinos are kind but have four other foster children in their care, so they are not as attentive as they should be. Carlos and Sara are bewildered, terrified, heartbroken, and angry. Sara is too young to fully comprehend the situation and keeps asking about you. Carlos cries each time he tells his little sister you are not coming home.

“Why can’t we stay with Gus and Patsy?” Sara asks Mrs. Liardino, referring to your dear friends and next-door neighbors, Gustavo and Patricia Garcia. “We always spend the night with Gus and Patsy when Mommy and Daddy are gone.” In fact, the Garcias think of your children as family and would have known how to care for them, but they did not answer the door hours earlier when Courtney knocked looking for you. In the absence of any written instructions from you, neither the police nor the social worker tried to reach the Garcias.

The Liardinos know nothing about the Garcias. They do not know that Patsy and Gus have two children who are friends with Carlos and Sara. They do not know that your children often have slumber parties with the Garcia’s children. They do not know that Carlos and Sara love and trust Gus and Patsy, that the Garcias would happily provide an immediate support system during a crisis.

The police do not know any of this because you never made a plan to tell them.

So instead of spending their first hours after your death embraced in a home by a family they know and trust, your children are stuck with the Liardinos. The police are finally able to contact your spouse early the next morning, but bad weather delays flights out of Paris, and your spouse is unable to fly home for another 48 hours. In the meantime, your children have become increasingly terrified and withdrawn. They think they may never see your spouse or their home again and that they will be stuck with the Liardinos and their four foster brothers and sisters forever.

When your spouse finally arrives, Carlos is so angry he is having difficulty functioning; Sara is petrified to the point of catatonia. The oldest foster child in the home has been terrorizing Sara. Carlos has tried to defend her, but the older boy is bigger and stronger, and the Liardinos are indifferent.

Your spouse, who is equally devastated, takes your children home and tries to comfort them while burdened with the tasks of notifying family and friends and arranging for your funeral.

Your only living relative, your estranged brother, comes to the funeral with his wife. They sit alone, barely speak to your spouse, and leave without saying a word to your children.

After the funeral, your spouse enlists the help of a child therapist and calls on parishioners and clergymen for support. Eventually, your family begins to heal.

When Sara is seven and Carlos 14, your spouse begins dating again. You would have wanted this, but Carlos feels hurt and abandoned, as though your spouse is betraying your memory. Sara, on the other hand, is slowly forgetting about you. She was barely four when you died, so she has few memories of you.

Have you created a plan to make sure you remain a presence in your children’s lives, even after your death? If so, turn to page C. If not, turn to page D.

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