In "Confidence is Queen," former Miss USA Susie Castillo writes about her experiences growing up, and shares the lessons she's learned about positive thinking. From dealing with an abusive father and living in a drug-infested neighborhood to becoming a successful model and radio host, Castillo says confidence in herself made all the difference. An excerpt.

Introduction
We all have times when it seems like nothing’s going our way — when it seems like everything we want is out of reach. Ever have those days when you’d rather stay in bed buried under your covers rather than face the world?

Me, too. Believe me — I’ve been there.

If you had asked me when I was a kid if I ever thought I’d be a beauty queen, I would have said, “No Way!” In my wildest dreams I never thought I’d enter — and then win! — a beauty pageant. Of course, like most little girls, I watched them on TV, but they seemed more like game shows to me — something to watch, but not actually do.

But I did do it. In 2003 I won the title of Miss USA. And even though I wasn’t the most traditionally beautiful contestant, I think what made me stand out — and ultimately win — was my confidence. What made me change my mind about pageants? I realized that it was a great way to bring me closer to my goal of working in the entertainment industry. I always believed a girl like me could win one of those pageants. When I say “a girl like me,” I don’t mean I thought I was unattractive. I never felt I was inferior to the other girls in any way. But I knew I was very different from the typical beauty pageant girl. In those days, most girls who won pageants were ultrafeminine Caucasian girlie girls with straight hair, who came from rich families and were really into makeup and clothes.

I am so not any of those things. I’m more of a jock than a girlie girl. My hair is supercurly. I ran track and played volleyball. My family was far from wealthy. And I’m Latina. On top of that, I had no idea how to pick out the right jewelry, put on makeup, or style my hair for a pageant. My usual morning routine involved tying my hair back into a ponytail and throwing on a pair of sweatpants before running out the door for school (hoping to make it to first period on time)!

Winning Miss USA confirmed what I had come to believe long before that point in my life: even though society may value a certain standard of beauty (like those blond- haired, blue- eyed, superthin model types you see on TV and in magazines), that doesn’t mean it’s the only standard of beauty. Being beautiful and discovering true beauty comes from the inside out. It’s about you discovering what’s beautiful about you, knowing the right tools to enhance your beauty, and then emanating it.

So how did I go from Susie the jock to Glamour Girl? First, let me start at the beginning and tell you a little bit about where I came from.

I grew up in Methuen, Massachusetts, which is about thirty miles north of Boston. I lived with my mom and two sisters in a part of town that you could say was “on the wrong side of the tracks.” It wasn’t a hard-core ghetto, but there were certainly gangs, violence, and plenty of drug dealing happening right on my street. When I got into middle and high school, several of my friends went down the wrong path, joining gangs, drinking and doing drugs. A few even got pregnant by the time we got to sophomore year!

My homelife was also pretty intense. My father was either totally abusive toward us or totally absent from our lives. He was never interested in playing with us or helping us with homework or doing the normal things Dads do. He stayed out at the local sports bar playing dominos until two a.m., stumbling home drunk with lipstick on his collar from women who weren’t my mother. Obviously, he was cheating. When he was home, he “disciplined” us, hitting my sisters and me with his belt, which often left welts on our thighs where it struck. We were all afraid of him and what he might do next.

Once I was playing hide- and- go- seek with the neighborhood kids — a bunch of girls and boys. My dad freaked out and yelled for me to come into the house. Once I was inside, he gripped me by the shoulders—hard—and said, “Las ninas no juegan con ninos!  . . .  Little girls don’t play with boys!” I remember looking at him in confusion, thinking, “In school we all play together. How is this different?” But I couldn’t tell him that — I was too afraid of how he’d react. I was sent to my room for the rest of the day for being “bad.” Thinking back about that now, I get really angry because I was just being a normal kid and wasn’t being “bad” at all.

Another time, I remember waking up to the sound of my parents yelling. I was hoping maybe I was having a nightmare, but — nope — it was all too real. I slowly opened the bedroom door a crack and peered into the living room. My mom was red in the face, crying, and asking Dad where he’d been all night. My father grabbed my mom’s throat and shook her to the ground, trying to get her to be quiet. It was awful. All she wanted was for her husband to stop cheating on her and come home at a decent hour to be with his family. Dad stomped out of our apartment that night, leaving my mom crying in a heap on the living room floor. I ran out of my bedroom to see if I could help her. She had me call the police to report my dad because her English was poor. So there I was, a five- year- old girl on the phone with the Methuen police station trying to explain what my dad had done.

Even though my childhood was less than ideal, all the stuff that happened to me made me a really strong person. I knew I wanted more from life than what I saw around me. And even though my dad wasn’t around, I felt lucky that my mom and grandmother were. They were my pillars — my biggest fans, always supporting everything I wanted to do. They also taught me self- discipline, how to set boundaries, and the importance of trying to accomplish things, even though they might seem impossible. It was through their example that I created four keys that have helped me get through good times and tough times by relying on myself.

My grandmother taught me how to stay true to my principles in the face of peer, media, or even family pressures. She grew up very poor in Puerto Rico and had to learn to trust her own instincts. She trained me to trust mine. My mother taught me how to create strong bonds with friends and family so I’d always have a support system of people to turn to, no matter how difficult my situation might be. After my father left, my mom brought my grandmother to live with us, and we were surrounded by aunts, uncles, and cousins, whom my sisters and I could go to at any time.

My mother’s resilience in the face of my father abandoning our family showed me that even if certain parts of my life weren’t perfect, I had the power to control my destiny. She took two—and sometimes three — jobs to support us. Because of her, I knew anything I wanted to accomplish, whether it was taking charge of my own health or setting goals and achieving success, was possible.

I always thought that someday I’d write a book, but I wasn’t sure exactly what I would write about. I knew I wanted to tell my story and encourage other young women to take control of their lives and follow their dreams, just like I did. But it wasn’t until 2003, when I won Miss USA, that I looked back over my life and thought, “Wow! How did I do this? How did I get here?” I had accomplished every giant goal that I ever set in my life — yet I knew there was still much more for me to accomplish. I realized how amazing my achievements were and started to consider what led me to this success.

Part of my job as Miss USA required going to public speaking engagements, so I often spoke at high schools, conventions, and other events. Often I’d speak to troubled kids from my own neighborhood. That was always very rewarding because I could totally relate to what they were going through — I knew because I’d been there. Usually they had no idea that I had once been one of them, because I’d be onstage wearing the Miss USA sash and tiara. The kids were always shocked when I told them that I had graduated from the same schools they went to and lived in the same neighborhoods as they did. Most of them were Latinos, like me, so they beamed with pride when I told them that I was only the third Latina EVER to win Miss USA. I wanted them to know that if I could achieve my goals, they could do it, too. I loved sharing my story with them, hopefully inspiring them to try to achieve anything their hearts desired.

But soon I realized that becoming a model and winning Miss USA took a whole lot more than what I mentioned during the hour- long speeches I was giving. I began to think about what I really wanted to say to these kids and considered how I could go about saying it. I realized the message I had to impart was about how I became a beautiful and successful woman through the power of positive thinking. I looked back over my life and discovered that I had created a prescriptive plan for myself that consisted of four specific parts: cultivating my spirituality, creating healthy relationships, taking charge of my image, and turning my dreams into reality. In fact, at first I didn’t even realize I’d been following a set of guidelines, but now I recognize that I’ve been following them practically my whole life.

I think these guidelines came about through a combination of my mother’s strong principles, which she instilled daily in my sisters and me, and my own internal desire to succeed. Looking back over my life, I began to analyze events in my life and characteristics of my personality. I had always done my best to be a good person and treat people with the respect we all deserve. That resulted in a deep caring for others and a true love for myself. I’ve always had great support from my family and always returned that love. I enjoyed fashion and tried to look my absolute best, even if I was wearing sweatpants! I’ve also been writing my goals down and posting them on my wall since I was fourteen years old. But like I said, it wasn’t until I became Miss USA that I was able to look within myself and recognize that all those years something extraordinary had been guiding me. That’s when I decided to write this book and tell my story, which is one of hope, inspiration, and truth.

I decided to call these guidelines “keys” because that’s how I see them — as keys that can unlock your true strength and lead you on a path of self- discovery, empowerment, success, beauty, and ultimately, confi dence. These keys are what helped me go from being a girl from Methuen, Massachusetts, to becoming Miss USA, an actor, a radio host, an MTV VJ, a spokesperson for Neutrogena, and now a published author. They are my rules to live by and I want to share them with you. I hope they will inspire you to stay true to yourself and find success in what ever it is you choose to pursue.

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