Wii're already fit, thanks

Kristin Kalning Games editor • E-mail

My “Wii Fit” age is 49.

Don’t get me wrong — 49 is a fine age. It’s an age I hope to see — in about 11 years. So I’m a bit miffed — OK, a lot miffed — that some video game is telling me, based on about 10 minutes of standing on some plastic balance board, that my body is older than it should be.

Here’s the thing: I’m a crazy, lunatic, super-obsessed fitness freak. Or at least that’s what my husband tells me when I rise every day before dawn to rip out a six-mile run or 3,000 yards in the pool. I’m not the stereotypical couch-potato gamer. I’m a gamer that’s doing a triathlon in two weeks, damn it.

So why did I pick up “Let’s Yoga?” Why did I bother with “My Weight Loss Coach?” Because like many crazy, lunatic, super-obsessed fitness freaks, I’m always looking for more information, more knowledge to goose my performance, improve my energy and help me nuke those annoying last five pounds. I’ve studied DVDs, read countless articles and paid coaches to torture me. Maybe all I needed was … a video game.

First up: “My Weight Loss Coach,” a Nintendo DS game from Ubisoft. While it’s true that I’m really active and burn lots of calories, I’m also close, personal friends with the candy basket at work. The game promises to help users “reach the ideal balance between diet and exercise,” which sounded right up my alley. I was hoping for a virtual coach with a tough-love approach; one that could show me, in black and white, how margaritas and Phish Food ice cream were conspiring to keep my jeans a little snug.

Wanted: Drill sergeant
But the stick figure guide in “My Weight Loss Coach” was hardly the drill sergeant I was hoping for. She was sweet, gentle and encouraging, but I don’t need someone to tell me that walking is awesome exercise and that little steps add up to big goals. I need someone (virtual or otherwise) to command me to lay off the Hershey’s miniatures.

The game prompts you to enter in your daily food intake and exercise, which are translated into energy points, each of which equals 50 calories. Nice idea, but it’s inexact. For instance, I went for a vigorous 60-minute run on Monday, and on Tuesday did the same amount of time on the elliptical machine. My heart-rate monitor gave me two, quite different calories-burned counts, but in “My Weight Loss Coach,” they’re accorded the same energy points.

It’s a similar deal with food entry. Most mornings, I have a low-fat muffin for breakfast. It’s got whole grains and all sorts of other good stuff, so it’s not the usual fat-bomb fare. But in “My Weight Loss Coach,” a muffin is a muffin. There’s no option to override what the system says a food item is “worth” in terms of calories. There’s also no option to adjust the serving sizes, which is pretty important, as any diet aficionado will tell you.

Ubisoft’s Tony Key says that the game is targeted at any adult who has had difficulties reaching or maintaining their ideal weight.

“The game has been designed for a broad audience, such that anyone can pick it up and use it — regardless of fitness level or time commitment.”

Fair enough, but the game, despite being super-cute and well-meaning, was just too basic for me. So I turned to Konami’s “Let’s Yoga” to help me stretch (get it?) my fitness goals.

Stretching myself with 'Let's Yoga'
I just got into yoga to stress down and increase flexibility. I love it, but I need some help with my form. Although “Let’s Yoga” doesn’t offer me a real-time yogi, it gives me the next best thing — step-by-step instruction on hundreds of poses.

In “Let’s Yoga,” a game for the Nintendo DS, you can choose to do “classes” of varying lengths, group together your favorite poses — or asanas — for your own, personalized class, or find asanas to address a specific issue, like headaches or insomnia.

The problem with “Let’s Yoga” is that it’s a game for the Nintendo DS, a handheld device with a small screen. I tried — really I did — to do a class with the Nintendo DS on my floor. I also tried it with the DS propped up on a chair. But it’s too much work to use this game as anything other than a reference device. For $29.99, it’s not an inexpensive yoga manual — but I did find it useful.

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