updated 2:49 p.m. ET Nov. 12, 2008

Someone gives you money
Don't mention the amount but do explain how you'll use the cash

Dear Aunt Melissa and Uncle Marc,

Chris and I were thrilled with your generous and thoughtful gift. You've brought us one step closer to our dream house. Looking forward to seeing you again when we're back home for the holidays!

Love, Emily

You don't know the person who gave you the gift
Mention that you're happy about meeting her at the wedding

Dear Mrs. Bergen,

Thank you for the gorgeous crystal bowl. It will look absolutely perfect on the coffee table in our apartment. My mother has always spoken so fondly of you — Chris and I look forward to finally meeting you at the wedding. (I'll be the woman in white!)

Sincerely, Emily


You don't know what the gift is
Focus on the giver's kindness rather than the mystery

Dear Jane and Tom,

Chris and I want to thank you for the wonderful wedding gift. You are such a creative, caring couple, and we feel lucky to count you as friends.

Best, Emily

It's a group gift
Send individual thank-you's but give a shout-out to the group

Dear Lisa,

Thank you for the gas grill. It's so snazzy and high-tech — just what we'd been wanting. We're lucky to have friends who know us so well. You'll have to come by for some of Chris's famous ribs soon!

Warmly, Emily

You already have one (or already exchanged it)
Don't acknowledge the situation or say how you'll use it; talk about the gift instead

Dear Derek,

Chris and I want to thank you for the vintage cocktail shaker. The Art Deco design is so sleek and handsome — you are clearly a man with good taste! We're so happy you were able to make it to the wedding.

Sincerely, Emily

You hate it and can't return it
Don't be a phony-baloney and rave about the gift, but do say something positive

Dear Grandma,

Thank you so much for the fish platter. The color reminds me of the china we used for family dinners at your house, and I'm delighted to see it again! We're thrilled that you'll be at our wedding, and at having the entire Goodman family together.

Love, Emily

This article originally appeared in Brides magazine. For more wedding tips, please visit Brides.com.

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