At 40, ‘mompreneur’ discovers cyberspace

Amy Kossoff Smith didn't let age get in the way of chasing her dream to write about motherhood. In this essay, “Stumbling into Cyberspace,” excerpted from the book “Knowing Pains,” Smith writes about learning how to use the Internet to start her business.

My fingers raced across the keyboard, and my heart pounded as I heard the school bus wheels screech to a halt outside our house. Only a few more precious minutes to get that last e-mail out before the kids would bound through the door, kick off their shoes, throw their backpacks in the hall and demand a snack. 

It was time to shift gears from work to kids, knowing full well that while my second shift was just starting, the third one (post-bedtime work catch-up) still lay ahead. After years of balancing three kids with my home-based PR business, I had added a scrumptious new project to my already-full plate. I started a website and blog that combined my organizational skills, my writing and PR background, and my passion for motherhood.

This latest entrepreneurial fire was ignited when I turned 40. For my birthday I went with some girlfriends to a spa where I paused for that rare moment of reflection in an otherwise activity-driven life. The Lycra-clad fitness instructor had us lying on mats: “Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.” As desperate as I was for a true break, I was having trouble following her instructions to “clear my mind.” I found my mind wandering to my lengthy to-do list and unanswered e-mails. So much to do …. No, no, no … breathe in, breathe out. As I struggled to clear my mind, it hit me that I’d spent most of my professional and personal life focused on other people’s needs. Helping to fulfill other peoples’ dreams. 

But as I lay there on that mat trying to breathe, the writer in me decided that 40 needed to be my chapter. I realized that it was time to pursue a personal dream of my own that could bring more passion, fun, and enjoyment to my career. As a journalist, I’d written articles for newspapers and magazines; as a publicist, I’d pitched press releases and managed countless special events. But one journalistic feat that I had yet to accomplish, but had always yearned for, was to write a book about something I really cared about, something to showcase my own magic tricks for managing the hardest job in my life: motherhood. Soon I began walking into bookstores, eyeing the packed shelves like valuable real estate, wondering if and when I could earn a spot.

As a working mom, I had constantly found my business world and personal world colliding. Over the years, I had naturally begun to use my work tools to organize our home life. Complicated carpools? No problem, a color-coded spreadsheet will do the trick. Painting estimates? Make sure you ask each person the same five questions — display the answers on a chart. Chores for the kids? Lay it out so all can see. Chart after chart, spreadsheet after spreadsheet, my business skills were guiding me through motherhood, providing me with much valued order in my home. Though I knew that this approach might not be the answer for everyone, I had been asked for help from enough other busy moms to know that I had tools other people could use.  So with a computer full of spreadsheets, checklists and essays, I revisited my idea from years ago, an idea that had lain dormant since the birth of my third son five years ago. I decided to write the book on which I’d based my adult family life, "The Business of Motherhood."

Tenacious, I immediately wrote a proposal, called agents and set up meetings. I was told that first I would need a website and blog. My reaction was measurable and fortunately silent. "What is a blog? What have I missed here?" I thought. I felt completely deflated. 

The social marketing world was completely foreign to me. Even my young kids seemed more savvy at downloading videos, text messaging, and Internet research than I. But removed as I felt from this virtual universe, I was motivated and determined to join, both to communicate my message as well as to understand this world my kids were entering.

I knew that the investment of time, energy, and money in this venture would be significant and I couldn’t see any income generation in the first phase (or second or third). I started to question my plans. Could I throw one more ball in the air, already juggling so much between work and home? Should I divert energy from my PR firm, my consistent bread and butter, to start what could be no more than a hobby that would suck time, energy, and money from our family bank account?

Forty hit me the same year my youngest stepped on the kindergarten bus. With him in school, I had planned to use any spare time to go through the stacks and envelopes of family photos that needed to put into albums, volunteer more at all three of my boys’ classrooms, and perhaps even have some unscheduled time for me. Breathe in, breathe out.

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