Ruff times: Laid off, she resents boyfriend’s dog

Puppy love may sound cute, but it isn’t when it's your significant other’s first priority. Unfortunately, I know from experience. I am in love with a man whose true love is a Yorkshire terrier named Georgi.

When I started dating my boyfriend shortly after he was discharged from the Army, he came with a fun accessory: a brand-new puppy. What a fantastic addition to this amazing guy, I thought: Like my very own G.I. Joe Man’s Best Friend action figure.

I had recently lost my childhood dog to cancer, so I eagerly welcomed the new furball into my life, treating her as my own. And over the years, I’ve developed a real affection for the little knucklehead. After all, she’s not hard to love. She’s one of the cuter Yorkies I’ve ever seen (she’s actually chubby! Who ever heard of a chubby Yorkie?) and has a really agreeable temperament.

And after being laid off recently, I enjoy his (now our) pup even more; with my days wide open, I welcome long walks with her, chatting up other dog-walkers on the street. She’s a good companion during my often lonely days.

But canine cuteness and companionship notwithstanding, I’ve fallen victim to a seldom discussed side effect of pet co-ownership: I’ve become jealous of that stupid dog.

Four-legged rival
Sound ridiculous? Totally. But when my boyfriend’s busy schedule makes time together scarce and affection an apparently limited resource, I’m less inclined to graciously share that love with another girl — even if that other girl is furry and four-legged. 

When my boyfriend walks in the door at the end of the day, it is the dog that gets the snuggles and the doting and the first kiss hello. Which isn’t fair. After all, she wasn’t looking for jobs all day in the worst job market in decades: I was. She wasn’t wrestling with her identity and self-worth after being unemployed for two full months now: I was. She didn’t get anxiety when she bought a tomato she thought was too expensive for her lifestyle: I did.

And so I’ve come to resent Georgi. I resent her for soaking up the love and reassurance that I seem to need so desperately at the end of the day.

The dog may seem harmless enough, and surely she is, but she has slowly become a source of tension and rivalry. And so I find myself in an odd position; I’m a grown woman — an attorney, no less, albeit not a practicing one at the moment — and I’m competing with an 11-pound dog for the love of my boyfriend.

And I’m losing. 

Paws to reflect
I find that I’m not alone in my paw envy. Others struggle with similar emotions. Just ask the next dog owner you pass on the street or sit down next to at the dog run: Dogs are not exempt from family politics. 

But the truth is, I’m not to blame. Neither is the stupid dog. And although I hate to admit it, but must, neither is my boyfriend, who I know loves me and whom I torture with my displaced insecurities. The root of the problem is this new recession world we live in, where reassurance is in high demand but the supply is devastatingly low. It seems that this essay, and my paw envy, isn’t about a favored dog: It is about the insecurities and newly bruised egos that accompany an economic downturn, and the love we need to fill the voids caused by this not-so-brave new world. 

The state of the economy makes us feel vulnerable because we are vulnerable — in a way we haven’t been as a society in a very long time. It leaves us looking for solace more often, and in new places.

Perhaps this country needs a love stimulus package. That sounds dirty, I suppose, but I’m serious. Pregnancy rates are up from this time last year. No wonder; being intimate with someone can be quite reassuring. 

As tough as they can appear to be (and are), when the going gets rough, the people in our lives need a little extra lovin’ these days, and this is no time to deny them. So give your lover or friend an extra snuggle or kiss on the forehead. Be a bit more forgiving when they are just doing the same thing you are: looking for a little extra love at the end of the day — even if it’s from a dog.

I now pander to the canine love too, and share in it; I coo over every doggie yawn and fuzzy ear-twitch.

After all, she’s not a bad stimulus package on her own. And if you can’t beat ’em ... join ’em.

Merisa Vinick is a contributing writer, a new claimant of unemployment benefits, and a begrudging dog co-owner.

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