Secrets in the Box

For six hours, Detective Myler and his partner had tried to get Robert Kirkup to confess to killing his wife. 

Det. Greg Myler: You killed Janet. 

Kirkup: No, I didn't.

Det. Greg Myler: You killed Janet. There is no denying it, Bob. You killed Janet. You killed her. You killed your daughter's mother.

But Kirkup, despite his failing health and advancing years, stuck by his story: He was telling the truth.

Kirkup: First of all, I have -- I didn't kill her. I wouldn't kill anybody period. It's not in me. To tell you I did something I didn't do, is, to me is, not good, it's kind of insane.

Their last hope now lay with his eldest daughter, Shana. They showed her that box - the case against her father.  The father she still believed in. Would she talk to him, they asked? She had a choice.   And she said yes.

Keith Morrison: Why'd you go in there?

Shana Thomas: I wanted to know.

Keith Morrison: Did you think that that was a time when he might actually be ready to tell the truth?

Shana Thomas: Maybe, because--

Keith Morrison: Because he was so close to dying?

Shana Thomas: Yeah. 

Shana and the two detectives made their way back to Kirkup's motor home.  And there in that tiny space, Shana faced the father she loved, and made her case.

Shana Thomas: I've stood by you. I've stood by you.

She implored him to take a polygraph.

Shana Thomas: Take this test and prove to me that you did not kill my mother.

She would always love him, she said.  But now she needed the truth.

Shana Thomas: I'm the only one that's been there, not Susan, not Sherry. I'm the only one that's cared.

Kirkup: I know.

Det. Greg Myler: He needed to know that she was going to be there for him no matter what.

And then finally, out it came.

Kirkup: Well, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of, you know, of all the questioning. Tired of going through what I've been through.

Would it be the truth? Or would it be, at least, truth enough for the one daughter who seemed to love him?

Kirkup: So, I guess I'll go ahead and tell you.

Shana's two sisters had spent nearly sixteen years trying in vain to get their father to say these words -- and with them the truth about their mother's disappearance. It had taken Shana twenty minutes.

And now, willing to divulge his secret only to this one faithful daughter, here it was.

Kirkup: She started a big fight with me. Started hitting me,  uh, knocked my glasses off my face, broke my glasses, got a knife out of the kitchen drawer, and came at me with it.

Shana Thomas: In the motorhome?

Kirkup: Yeah. And we struggled. And, I was just, I was trying to, you know, defend myself, I didn't want a shiv stuck in me. And, we struggled, and ended up back there in, on the floor in the bedroom. She was trying to stab me, and by the time it was over, she was lying there. He didn't have, uh, a pulse or anything, and that scared the hell out of me. You'd have to say that was strangulation or whatever.

Keith Morrison: Finally, somebody who cares about him walks into the room.  The only person he had left in the world, and therefore, the only person to whom he was prepared to make his confession.

Shana Thomas: And it devastated me.

Kirkup: I left that campground and took her somewhere, you know, I don't think I could even find it, and, uh, buried her.

Shana Thomas: You buried her?

Kirkup: Yes, I wasn't just going to leave her lay there on the side of the road or something.

Det. Greg Myler: What state was this in?

Kirkup: New York.

Sitting there, listening to her father describe the final moments of her mother's life, hearing him claim that he was really only defending himself, Shana felt reality slip beneath her.

When he did say he did that, it devastated me, it traumatized me.

Keith Morrison: You can hear it in your voice when you're talking to him.  You could hear how terrible it was for you.  Because you did believe in him all those years, didn't you?

Shana Thomas:  (crying) I couldn't believe that he would do something--

Detective Myler called Susan.  Told her what happened.

Susan Waller: I had a picture of my mother in my arms.  And I walked around the corner, and I just collapsed to the floor. 

Law enforcement finally had their confession.  But still, no body.  Kirkup was unable to help them locate Janet's burial place in upstate New York which left prosecutors with only his version of events. Self defense. Not enough for a murder charge.

Kirkup: And if it wasn't her, maybe it'd be me with a knife in me. I don't know, you know, it was self-defense.

In September 2008, Kirkup was charged with second degree manslaughter.  He pleaded guilty.  And the youngest, Susan, spoke at the sentencing.  And released the pent up anger of a lifetime.

Susan Waller: I told him what an evil man he was.  And I told him that he robbed me of sharing all of-- all of the things that a mother shares with her daughter.  She wasn't there when I got married.  She didn't get to see my beautiful daughters.

Keith Morrison: You had a lot to tell 'im?

Susan Waller: Yeah.  And he wouldn't even look at me.

He showed no emotion at all.  He just sat and stared straight ahead.   

Kirkup was sentenced to a term of 5-15 years in prison. Because of his advanced age and failing health, few believe he'll live long enough to make parole. But Susan wants to be sure.

Susan Waller: I will be at every parole hearing, and I will fight to make sure that he's, doesn't get of there.

She held a memorial service for her mother, invited her sisters to attend. Shana, despite her fractured relationship with her baby sister, was there.

Shana Thomas: The memorial was beautiful, and I'm glad I did go.

And for a moment, at least, these two were a family again.

Keith Morrison: Did you reconcile, do you think?

Susan Waller: Unh-uh.

Keith Morrison: How come?

Susan Waller: (sniffing) I think it's gonna take some time.

Video   ‘I panicked – didn't know what to do’ Robert Kirkup has just confessed to killing his wife, Janet. He claims she attacked him with a knife and, as he tried to defend himself, he ended up choking her to death on the floor of their motor home. Dateline NBC

Robert Kirkup declined to be interviewed on camera.  But he did send us a letter repeating what he told us in person:  that he killed Janet in self-defense, that there was "no truth" to Susan's allegations of abuse, and finally, that he hopes his daughters can somehow "find it in their hearts to forgive him".

His motorhome is still here, in Shana's backyard. Virtually untouched since they led him away.

The box of documents did its work, solved the mystery, found justice - after 16 years - for janet kirkup. But not for her family. 

Keith Morrison: He murdered something in everybody.  (sighing) In all of the family.  In you too.

Susan Waller: He destroyed our family.

Keith Morrison: You lost them both, really, didn't you?

Shana Thomas: I lost both of my parents.  Both of 'em.  My mother and my father, at the same time.

Keith Morrison: When he confessed?

Shana Thomas: Yep.

Peace among the Kirkups?  Someday maybe.  But not yet. One more thing to do.

Susan Waller: I'm never gonna give up looking, and trying to find out where my mother's remains are. And if it takes the rest of my life, I'll do it.

Keith Morrison: That's a big commitment.

Susan Waller: She was my mom.

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