Kids want cell phones? Here’s how to proceed

Dr. Ruth Peters TODAY contributor • Profile • E-mail

Whether you’re considering a first cell phone for your tween or teen or trying to limit various functions on your child’s existing cell phone, it’s important to understand the various controls and technologies available today.

The decision to get your child’s first cell phone usually occurs when you are badgered by your kid, who insists that “everyone” has one. Whether that’s accurate or not is probably of little interest to your child, but it’s typically his or her biggest selling point! 

Often parents recognize the safety features of the child’s carrying a cell phone, including the ability to communicate easily with parents by voice or text messaging. Convenience is also a large factor when considering this rite of passage to the teen years — knowing where in the mall to meet your child, or getting the heads-up that soccer practice has been delayed are invaluable bits of information that lead to efficiency, convenience and safety for both you and your child.

But what about the downsides to kid cell-phone usage? Well, there are plenty of issues to consider, and the following tips should be of help in deciding which plans are best for your kids and your family in general.

Start small
When thinking about getting your child’s first phone, consider having your child initially use your cell phone for occasions when you’ll need to know the time and place for pickup, or in cases of emergency. With reduced numbers of pay phones available, it’s all about communication, and a cell phone can come in handy. In addition, kids can feel isolated without easy access to their parents.

If the youngster handles your cell phone appropriately — using it only to contact necessary adults — consider allowing the child to have his or her own phone with a small amount of voice minutes or text capability each month. Most cell phone providers offer family plans where both the child and the parent are notified when the allotted number of minutes or texts is approaching, and some even disallow usage when the limit has been met. This encourages the child to check the number of minutes or texts used throughout the month and teaches budgeting.

Think about whether you’ll allow both voice and text communication and understand how this can be allotted by parental controls. Determine whether your child’s cell phone will have video, picture or Internet availability in addition to voice and text communication. Much of this depends upon the cell phone purchased as well as the parental controls that you set up for each child’s individual phone.

When you’ve decided to make the move to purchasing a cell phone for your kid, communicate the purpose of doing so. For you, it’s probably all about safety and convenience. For the kid, it’s most likely all about social networking and yakking with their friends. Let your child know that the phone is a privilege as well as a responsibility and that it belongs to you. The child can use it as long as the house cell-phone rules are followed.

Practice together
Practice voice messaging and text messaging with your child. Both of you need to become adept at these techniques, and your child needs to see that you understand how to check his or her texts, the monthly billing online and number of minutes used, at what time of day the phone is being used and also who they are communicating with.

If the Internet is available on your child’s phone, surf the Web together and agree upon the level of parental control that will be necessary for your child’s age and maturity level. And don’t be afraid to set boundaries. Remember — you most likely own the phone and therefore have the right and the responsibility to monitor voice, text, picture and video as well as Internet usage.

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So, what are some of the parental controls available? Well, this depends upon the cell-phone carrier and the usage plan that you select. In general, some type of family plan is necessary for parental controls, but not always. In addition, there are private guardian software programs that can be purchased separately from your specific cell-phone provider plan and that may sync with your phones.

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