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Image: Jon Gosselin
Angela Weiss  /  Getty Images file
Jon Gosselin arrives at a June event in Los Angeles. His leadership coach revealed that he is working on a book outline with her.
By
TODAY.com contributor
updated 7/8/2010 1:54:35 PM ET 2010-07-08T17:54:35

Jon Gosselin is growing up, and the lessons he’s learning along the way are the basis for a book outline that he’s working on along with his leadership coach, Dr. Sylvia Lafair.

Contrary to online reports, Gosselin does not have a book contract yet, his agent, Canaan Rubin, told TODAYshow.com. “There has been overwhelming interest in Jon writing a book, and he is considering one, but he has not yet decided on the topic or the time frame,” Rubin said.

Lafair began working with Gosselin last year when he sought help dealing with a life that was in turmoil, with the disintegration of his marriage and the public battle between him and his ex-wife, Kate Gosselin, all played out against the backdrop of their hit TLC show, “Jon & Kate Plus 8.”

‘A very good father’
Lafair is the author of the award-winning 2010 business book, “Don’t Bring It to Work.” She said that she agreed to consider doing a book with Gosselin only when she was convinced of his commitment to changing his life. She said he’s motivated by his desire to be a good father to his eight children.

“In looking at being a father to his children, he’s really looking deeply at the legacy that he is passing to them,” Lafair said. “He is really a very good father. One of the reasons he connected with me was his concern about how his children will know him as they grow up.”

And though Rubin disclaimed knowing the topic of Gosselin’s book, he said, “Being a father is the most important job Jon will ever have, and it wouldn't surprise me if fatherhood were to be a theme of anything he decides to write.”

Lafair, speaking by phone from New Mexico, where she was running leadership conferences, said she envisions the book as chronicling a personal quest.

“The outline is about a journey to the next level of maturity,” she said.

Taking responsibility
By age 27, Gosselin was the father of sextuplets and twins. A former high school soccer star, he suddenly found himself starring in a real-life “Truman Show,” the full implications of which he didn’t appreciate at the time, Lafair said.

“In those days, there wasn’t a lot of time even to take a deep breath and say, ‘What does all this mean?’ ” Lafair told TODAYshow.com. “He didn’t realize the level of celebrity or the impact when the program started. He is now really looking at what the real responsibility of celebrity means. He really wants to take the responsibility.”

Lafair, whose specialty was family therapy before she got into corporate work, said that Gosselin is facing the same issues that other fathers of his generation face. “For him, it’s helping him begin to see where he’s headed in his life and how he can be a leader, first in a family with a lot of children he had in a short period of time, second in his work career where he is now redefining himself, and third to become a leader as he goes on his journey for his generation of men who have to redefine themselves.”

New tattoo
Lafair said the reason Gosselin acquired a widely reported dragon tattoo recently was “because he began to look at the legacy that was handed him by his parents and grandparents. He had not given thought to the fact that he’s half Korean, that his Korean lineage has been pushed to the background.”

Lafair is the president of Creative Energy Options, headquartered in White Haven, Pa., where there is a retreat and conference center. She said that Gosselin has been attending group programs at the center.

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“It was a big risk for him to go into a group of people, because he’s been thrown under the bus many times,” Lafair said. “He knew if he didn’t begin to trust people — he had to take that risk to begin to get feedback. He’s learning how to give. He’s learning how to ask questions. He’s learning to be a better listener and he’s learning to look at the behavior patterns that have held him back.”

If Lafair and Gosselin write a book, she said, it won’t dish dirt.

“It’s really a journey story of what he’s learned. What the outline shows is there will be tips and tools from what he is learning so others can perhaps find a shortcut on their own journeys.”

© 2012 MSNBC Interactive.  Reprints

Photos: Jon and Kate Gosselin

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  1. Back to work

    Reality TV star Kate Gosselin has a new job -- working for a money-saving coupon website. She will be contributing blog posts to offer money-saving advice and shopping tips to CouponCabin.com. Gosselin is seen here on her first day at the new job, Nov. 11, 2011. (CouponCabin.com via Splash) Back to slideshow navigation
  2. A fresh start

    Gosselin appears on stage Thursday, April 8, 2010, in New York to introduce her new show "Twist of Kate." TLC said the show will revolve around Gosselin "meeting real families in the middle of their own extraordinary challenges." (Mary Altaffer / AP) Back to slideshow navigation
  3. Showing a new side

    Gosselin, left, and her partner Tony Dovolani perform on "Dancing with the Stars," on Monday, March 29, 2010 in Los Angeles. In order to compete on the ABC show and spend as much time as possible with her kids, she built a dance studio in her basement of the family's Pa. home. (Adam Larkey / AP) Back to slideshow navigation
  4. Turning the page

    Gosselin is shown on the cover of her memoir, "I Just Want You to Know," which was released by Zondervan Books. In the book she opens up about her marriage to Jon Gosselin and talks about the pressures of motherhood and the hardships of stardom. On the TODAY show in New York on Tuesday, April 13, she told Meredith Vieira that she wanted to write it to give her kids "advice for the future." (AP) Back to slideshow navigation
  5. Lending a hand

    Jon Gosselin and girlfriend Morgan Christie attend the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah, on Jan. 22, 2010. The two are shown visiting Resource's Sky Suite Lounge, where he participated in the Blanket America campaign to give blankets to poverty-stricken Americans. The couple reportedly split in March. (Jerritt Clark / WireImage) Back to slideshow navigation
  6. Time to pay up

    Jon Gosselin walks past reporters after he exited the Montgomery County courthouse in Norristown, Pa., on Oct. 13, 2009. In the court proceeding, Gosselin was ordered to repay $180,000 that he took from the joint account he shares with estranged wife Kate Gosselin. Kate and Jon's divorce was finalized in December 2009. (Matt Rourke / AP) Back to slideshow navigation
  7. Rough seas?

    Kate Gosselin and her children ride a ferry during an episode of TLC's "Jon & Kate PLus 8." The network shut down filming of the show on Oct. 1, 2009 after receiving a cease-and-desist order from Jon Gosselin. The reality dad told Larry King he had “an epiphany one day” and realized his 5-year-old sextuplets and 8-year-old twins shouldn’t be filmed at the family’s Pennsylvania home while their parents are going through a divorce. (TLC) Back to slideshow navigation
  8. Milestone moment

    Jon and Kate Gosselin help their sextuplets get ready to board a bus for their first day of school in Reading, Pa., on Friday, Aug. 28, 2009. The 5-year-olds -- Alexis, Hannah, Aaden, Collin, Leah and Joel -- are attending junior kindergarten three days a week. (Splash News) Back to slideshow navigation
  9. Kate's dudes

    Kate Gosselin sports a pink cowgirl hat while visiting a dude ranch in 2009 in Wyoming with Collin, Aaden and Joel. The boys rode horses, chased goats and were utterly fascinated by the ranch, musing that the horses looked like cows. (TLC) Back to slideshow navigation
  10. Reduced to tears

    Kate Gosselin dries her eyes during her interview on the TODAY show in New York on Monday, Aug. 10, 2009. Kate said her marriage to Jon would have failed whether it played out in the glare of a reality TV show or not. (Richard Drew / AP) Back to slideshow navigation
  11. Public affection

    Jon Gosselin and girlfriend Hailey Glassman are spotted together in Harriman State Park in New York on Monday, July 20, 2009. The two were hugging each other, holding hands and at one point Glassman put a flower behind Jon's ear. Glassman is the daughter of Harry Glassman, the doctor who performed Kate Gosselin's tummy tuck. (Splash News) Back to slideshow navigation
  12. Unwelcome spotlight

    Celebrity magazines featuring Kate Gosselin are seen on a table in Lotus Salon in Wernersville, Pa., on May 28, 2009. The Gosselins have attracted a huge television audience with their TLC program "Jon & Kate Plus 8." As news of marital trouble gained traction, so did the tabloid coverage. (Carolyn Kaster / AP) Back to slideshow navigation
  13. Seemingly happy family

    Jon and Kate Gosselin -- with twins Cara and Mady in center -- celebrate the fifth birthday of the sextuplets on May 17, 2009. Jon and Kate reportedly arrived separately. ''Marriages can crumble very easily. I'm not dumb," Kate said. "Ours has 500 times the stress of a normal marriage.'' (Michael Pilla / TLC via AP) Back to slideshow navigation
  14. Her reality

    A TLC camera crew shoots footage of one of the Gosselin children at the family's Reading, Pa., home. Pennsylvania's Labor Department opened an investigation in the summer of 2009 into whether "Jon & Kate Plus 8" is complying with state child labor laws. TLC said it "fully complies" with state laws and regulations. (Splash News) Back to slideshow navigation
  15. Eight is enough

    Kate Gosselin attends a signing for her books "Eight Little Faces" and "Multiple Bles8ings" at Barnes & Noble in Glendale, Calif., on April 14. (David Livingston / Getty Images) Back to slideshow navigation
  16. Ready for their closeup

    John and Kate Gosselin attend a Discovery Upfront presentation to promote their show in New York on April 23, 2008. Five seasons of the much-watched program follow the Gosselins through their daily lives and the challenges of raising multiple children. (Thos Robinson / Getty Images) Back to slideshow navigation
  17. Before the storm

    Jon and Kate Gosselin and their eight kids appear on the TODAY show in New York on Oct. 2, 2007. Almost two years later, with her marriage in pieces, Kate told Meredith Vieira, "I am as well as can be expected. I’m determined to hang in there. What life hands me, I’m going to do. My focus still is the health and well-being of my children as well as myself." (Heidi Gutman / NBC NewsWire) Back to slideshow navigation
  18. Aloha

    Jon and Kate Gosselin renewed their wedding vows in Maui, Hawaii, in August 2008. The couple originally married on June 12, 1999. On June 22, 2009, proceedings were initiated in Pennsylvania to end their 10-year marriage. The episode announcing their separation and divorce drew a record 10.6 million viewers to "Jon & Kate Plus 8." (Mark Arbeit / AP) Back to slideshow navigation
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  1. Kate Gosselin gets new job
    CouponCabin.com via Splash
    Above: Slideshow (18) Jon and Kate Gosselin
  2. Image:
    SplashNewsOnline.com via InStyle.com
    Slideshow (6) Kate Gosselin’s beauty transformation

Video: New show for ‘Kate’ and her 8

  1. Closed captioning of: New show for ‘Kate’ and her 8

    >>> care.

    >>> it's been a busy past 12 months for reality television star and mother of eight kate gosselin , she's divorced, she's dancing with the stars , she's working on two shows. good morning, it's great to have you here. you and i have never met and you walked in the room and i felt like i knew you, because your live has been not only an open book , an open tv show. how do people react to you?

    >> just that way, people meet me, they forget that i don't know them, that they know me.

    >> your whole live has been opened up, is that difficult when you even counter people and they know your most intimate details?

    >> for me, it's really not. i know that's probably strange, but it doesn't bother me, i am who i am when the cameras are on off, present, absent, so it doesn't really bother me.

    >> it's been about a year since your marriage broke up in a very public way, how are you doing?

    >> i am doing well, better every day, reorganizing for the kids and i. every day and week that goes by i feel better and better about it.

    >> how much do the kids understand about what happened.

    >> they know, they're living it. they understand that mommy and daddy aren't married anymore, we obviously don't live in the same place, like any child of divorce, they express their wishes and desires that we could still be together and we walk through the reasons why we're not and why it's better that we're not, and they understand that, but they understand all of that. as far as the public, the media, the whole world, i keep them have sheltered from that so they're fine.

    >> children of divorce do have a lot of issues, is it any easier or is it harder for them because they have live ad and your lives have been such a public display .

    >> obviously i have worked hard to make sure it doesn't feel any different to them. they don't read the tabloid stories and all that stuff that's made up. they don't really experience that. they do experience the paparazzi that follows us and that's probably the most difficult for them. they really are bothered by that and i do my best whenever we go anywhere to avoid that as much as possible. we go to great lengths to avoid it.

    >> you're working on two shows "kate plus eight" obviously no jon.

    >> they're following our lives just the way we live them. we pick an event, and they follow the event that are caused by that event.

    >> do you hope or do you think that other single parents will find something in here they can identify with?

    >> i never thought i would find myself in this single parent situation but i am realizing there is a really large world of single parents out there and so far i have gained a lot of strength from other single parents that have gone before me so if we can live out a single mom with a certain number of kids and i can be an inspiration in any way, that's certainly wonderful.

    >> great to have you on, and continued good luck to you. you can catch the

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