Smile Britney! Everybody is watching

Wait a minute. Didn’t I see this on “Friends” a couple of years ago?  Two former sweethearts empty the hotel room mini-bar, then stagger down to the Little Chapel of Love and slur “I do.”

Congratulations, Mr. Britney! Congratulations Mrs. Jason!

The only detail I really want to know is did they also apply the pre-ceremony cat whiskers to their faces with Magic Markers.

Sigh.

This latest escapade gives further proof that the axiom of Britney Spears is true: She is not a girl but is not yet a woman.

I don’t know why reports of Britney Spears’ quickie (and by all accounts mistaken) wedding should be so surprising. It has been almost two months since her latest dance in the spotlight. I’ll give her this; at least she left her clothes on this time. But if it was attention she wanted, oh boy!

There are two schools of thought on Britney churning through the media. The first is that she really is a dumb blonde just letting her stunning good looks and the air escaping from her head carry her through life. The other suggests that she’s equally foxy in mind as well as body. Posing for provocative photos and open-mouth kissing Madonna on the MTV Video Music Awards could just be misguided, impulsive acts, but when you have a long anticipated album about to be released …

Video: Ooops! Most likely the true Britney lies somewhere in between. Remember, she is a 22-year-old girl-woman. Can you remember all the “interesting” things you did at 22? The only difference between those foibles and Britney’s are that she is doing them under the glare of an ever-watching media.

In the past six months, Britney has been spotted in a lip lock with Colin Farrell, having her nether regions described by Fred Durst on the Howard Stern show, getting an oral exam from Madonna on national (albeit cable) TV, letting it all hang out in Rolling Stone, Esquire and several other publications and, oh yeah, releasing a new album and doing the press tour that accompanies that.

Is it real or is it just plain dumb?
Were some of those planned events? You bet. Hair, makeup, clothing (okay, so not so much clothing) need to be carefully arranged before a photo shoot. The MTV moment? She’s already stated that they rehearsed “The Kiss” before they went on the air.

But Fred Durst and Colin Farrell? Pure unadulterated youth. An indiscreet moment, a flash of heat – unfortunately, caught on tape and sold to the highest bidder.

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In her interview with Esquire, Britney said she didn’t see herself as a superstar.

“I’m famous, but I’m not famous like freaking Brad Pitt or Jennifer Aniston. But in my weird little head, I just think we’re all here to inspire each other. We’re all equal. We just bounce off each other and show the world what we can do.”

Well, it’s time for her weird little head to wrap itself around the idea that she is in fact a superstar and that every little thing she does – from buying a Red Bull to getting married in Las Vegas – draws the interest of the world media, if not the world.

Drunk or not, what might have seemed at the time like a fun idea between two old friends in Las Vegas has become a world-wide sensation. Now, the world will watch as her prank gone wrong is corrected.

Was this a publicity stunt to help boost sales of “In the Zone”? Doubtful. The album is doing pretty well on the charts and CD buyers aren’t more likely to actually purchase the disc just because Britney is in the headlines.

No, most likely the free-spirited girl overwhelmed the already world-weary woman for a moment, a moment filled with laughter and friends and fun. Now the woman has to clean up the mess.