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Video: Teacher cleared of sex abuse makes peace with ex

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    >>> lost custody of her kids two years ago. she was acquitted in may. now she's worked out a custody deal with her ex-husband. we'll talk to them in a moment. but first, here's nbc's michelle kosins kosinski.

    >> reporter: just over six months ago, tanya craft faced a georgia courtroom.

    >> i did not and have not sexually abused any child.

    >> reporter: the rest of the her life in the balance, her words against those of little children .

    >> i'm here because i have been falsely accused.

    >> reporter: there were hundreds who supported the popular and exhuberent kirnder garten teacher. her own daughter was taken away from tanya for two years because of all this.

    >> i said are you 100% sure that this happened? and i'll never forget the look on her face or in her eyes. she stopped everything she did and looked me dead in the eye and said i know it did, daddy.

    >> reporter: accusations that some had axes to grind and were coached by adults. it was such a confusing, indefinite mess, but for tanya , the reality, the questions hanging in the air , was she the innocent victim or a predator who should spend the rest of heifer life behind bars ? the jury delivered vindation.

    >> count number one, not guilty. count number 22 , not guilty.

    >> not guilty on anything! we knew it!

    >> reporter: that is what tanya hoped for on that day in may.

    >> i was not going to let them railroad me. this could happen to anybody anywhere at any time like that and your entire life is gone.

    >> reporter: and today has gained back what she most treasured. she will now share custody of her son and daughter.

    >> we knew that we could work this out and we could do this.

    >> reporter: in a case that could have gone either way , tonya craft survived.

    >> tanya craft and her husband joe hanke are here. at the end there you said we knew we could do this. a lot of outsiders would say how could they do this? there's been a lot of tension between you two, including the fact that joel , you were one of the people who testified against tanya in tourt. how did you work this out?

    >> we worked it out because like we talked about on there, it was for the children. we were actually in a room by ourselves and we shed some tears, we talked about some things and we said a lot of things that just needed to be out in the open.

    >> is this just let bygones be by gones? i would have to ask you, do you now believe that nothing she was accused of was true?

    >> matt, basically, you know, i thought about that a lot and tanya and i had a lot of great conversation about it and discussion and she saas she said shed a lot of tears. i had a history teacher who said if we don't learn from history we're condemned to repeat it. that kept resonating inside of me. we had to determine that we're going to move forward in the best interests of our children.

    >> talk about the relationship with your children now tanya , aiden is 8, co cole is 11. what was your relationship with your daughter like now and your son?

    >> actually with both the children and especially my daughter because she was the one that was focused on due to the allegations. it's been described by people who have observed that nothing has happened.

    >> did it take a great deal of therapy to get to that point?

    >> to be quite honest, i will say that the best thing they are not, they are learning to be healthy children now without being in a therapist's office every week.

    >> what impact has it had on the kids, because they lived with you for 2 1/2 years?

    >> right. and we have wonderful children so that's a base that a lot of people unfortunately may not be able to claim. but again, i think it was our determination to make sure that they were healthy.

    >> i want people to know that on commercial breaks you are laughing and joking and it seems as if this has completely been put behind you?

    >> it really has and i'm going to explain in one way that i believe i do have a very strong faith and it was very unusual that day, it was almost like in that room, it's almost like there was a physical heart transplant without having one. i do feel like there was an amount of forgiveness and there was an amount of healing that cannot be explained.

    >> you have filed for compensatory damages against various parties, including the lead detective in the case, the sheriff and by the way, a civil suit against joel . what's the status of that lawsuit?

    >> the status actually this week, because there's different motions and things that need to be filed, we will be filing something this week. as far as i'm concerned, they will be dismissed.

    >> dismissing the civil suit against joel ?

    >> it is being dismissed and it's actually being dismissed and my attorneys are going to get me if i get this wrong, i believe with prejudice which means it cannot be refiled. that indicates a very strong trust level that not only is it being dismissed, but it can't be refiled.

    >> we sat down in a room together and one of the first things that was put out on the table was let's not focus on all the stuff that's going on around us, let's focus on what we're here to do which is care for our children and that's just the way we did it. and everything else works out and takes care of itself.

    >> for the sake of aiden an cole, i hope it works out and i appreciate you sharing your story.

    >> nd and i really hope that people going through divorces, no matter what you've been through, you can do what's best for your children.

By
TODAY.com contributor
updated 12/6/2010 10:31:33 AM ET 2010-12-06T15:31:33

Despite the TV news cameras, a family court judge, and two teams of lawyers waiting for them to get on with their high-profile child custody battle, Tonya Craft and Joal Henke really needed to talk.

Craft, the former kindergarten teacher acquitted in May of molesting her own daughter and two other girls, had a lot she wanted to say to Henke, her ex-husband and a prosecution witness at her trial.

Henke had a lot on his mind, too: Craft’s lawsuit against him and his new wife; the custody fight costing both him and Craft a ton of money, and the effect everything was having on their daughter and son, 11-year-old Aiden and 8-year-old Cole.

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“We worked it out because it was for the children. We were in a room by ourselves … we shed some tears. We talked about some things,” Craft said in New York on Monday during a joint appearance with Henke on TODAY. “We said a lot of things that needed to be out in the open.”

When the emotional meeting was over and they informed their lawyers that they had decided to share custody of their children, Craft and Henke stepped in front of the cameras and announced that going forward they would be — as Henke put it at the time — “one big happy family.”

Related: Female teacher acquitted of child molestation

Not only would Henke’s wife, Sarah, be welcome at Craft’s home in Tennessee; Craft’s current husband, David, would be greeted warmly at the Henke household just over the state line in Georgia.

But did the agreement mean that Joal Henke now believed that his ex-wife was falsely accused of molesting the girls? He sidestepped the question when TODAY’s Matt Lauer posed it on Monday.

“I’ve thought about that a lot, and Tonya and I had a lot of great conversation about it and discussion, and shed a lot of tears … We determined that from this point forward we are going to move forward for the best interest of our children,” Henke said.

TODAY
Tonya Craft embraces her attorney (second from left) upon hearing herself cleared of all charges of child sexual abuse in a Georgia courtroom last May.

Although Craft plans to go ahead with her lawsuit against the school district where she had worked, prosecutors, police officers, and the parents of the young accusers whom she believes were coached, she told Lauer that her lawyers will be dropping their action against Joal and Sarah Henke formally sometime this week. The suit is being dismissed “with prejudice” — which means she will not be able to revive it later, even if the custody agreement falls apart.

“That indicates a very strong trust level. It is not only being dismissed, but it will not be able to be refiled,” Craft said.

Video: Teacher cleared of sex abuse makes peace with ex (on this page)

‘Healing and forgiveness’
Craft and Henke both described the private meeting that led up to their Nov. 19 custody agreement as an almost mystical moment where two parents just decided jointly that the well-being of their kids was more important than anything else.

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“We have wonderful children … I think it was our determination to make sure they were healthy,” Henke said.

Related: Teacher cleared of molestation: ‘Nobody wins’

Craft agreed. “It was very unusual that day. It is almost like there was a physical heart transplant, without there being one,” she said. “There was an amount of healing and forgiveness that cannot be explained.”

Since the custody agreement was reached, Aiden and Cole have been splitting their time between both households. Their time with the Crafts is being increased at a measured pace, so that they can adjust to the many changes in their living situation.

Video: Molestation charges were ‘perfect storm,’ cleared teacher says (on this page)

Craft said she is pleased that the children are spending more time with both parents, and less time with psychiatrists, psychologists and the court-appointed guardian.

“I think they are learning to be healthy children without being in the therapist’s office every week,” Craft said.

But what about Aiden, who testified for the prosecution against her mother?

“Actually, with both the children, especially our daughter … it’s as if nothing has happened. It is normal, it is happy. It is healthy,” Craft said.

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Although she never actually testified to any molestation, prosecutors contended that Aiden corroborated the at-times inconsistent testimony of two young girls who said Craft touched them inappropriately at her home.

The defense successfully argued to the jury that the girls turned the focus on Craft after they were caught touching each other, setting off a chain of events that eventually involved Craft’s ex-husband and others with an ax to grind against her.

Video: Teacher accused of sex abuse takes the stand (on this page)

Craft was acquitted in May of 22 felony counts that, had they been proven, could have sent to her prison for the rest of her life.

Craft has said that when the time is right for her and her family, she plans to enroll in law school with the goal of eventually helping other falsely accused people.

© 2012 MSNBC Interactive.  Reprints

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