What to do when a friend has memory loss

Video: Coping with a loved one’s memory loss

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   >>> this morning on " forever young " a sensitive and important topic for millions of americans -- how to cope when someone you love starts losing his or her memory. psychologist dale atkins is here with advice. good morning to you.

   >> good morning.

   >> this is an important topic and it's huge because we are talking about age-related memory or alzheimer's or dementia.

   >> right.

   >> we'll break it down into two days. today we are doing age-related memory loss . just so people understand how is it different from dementia.

   >> generally it gets to a point and doesn't continue to go way, way down like dementia does. when you put your keys down and can't remember where they are or you meet someone and you two seconds later can't remember their name or you have a sense that, gee, i should remember this but i'm not remembering it. a lot of it is more in the recent past.

   >> more short-term memory loss ?

   >> it's recent memory. we have issues like if i just focus on it i will probably remember it and it will come back. where did i put the car? oh, now i remember. so it does come back and you give yourself time. that's the memory loss we are talking about. it causes distress and you're running up and down the stairs three times like, i know i came up for something.

   >> absolutely. i do these things every day. do people realize it when it's happening or are we in denial about this?

   >> it's both. we understand that we walk into the kitchen and say, what did i come in here for? we also understand if we take some time, retrace our steps, go through the alphabet, whatever the neumonics are we can recognize it. how do we help our friends and family who have age-related memory loss ?

   >> how do you help?

   >> keep them socially active and involved. you may say, i can't stand being with them because they never remember. we need to have our brains stimulated and social interaction is a way to do it. it staves off depression. we also need to understand that we are valued when we are with other people. if we are alone, people who are alone have more memory loss than people who are not alone. i think we need to keep people active and do things with them. engage in a book club , do things together. do a project that you can begin and plan and think about so you are really engaging the mind, body and spirit.

   >> they often say as you get older if you do crossword puzzles .

   >> definitely.

   >> it does make a difference?

   >> bridge, things with strategy, scrabble. again, the planning. if you are thinking about planting a garden with a friend or making a quilt, you plan it, design it and execute it. so you have sequencing it. you are keeping the brain active because you want to engage it and keep oxygen flowing to the brain not only by doing physical activity but mental activity.

   >> i always keep these to-do lists all over the place.

   >> good idea.

   >> it is?

   >> it's a very good idea. you want a new routine where you cannot only know your routine and depend on it but keep lists, use organizers and use a calendar. then put it somewhere where you are going to actually look at it. it will help you because you don't have to clutter your mind with things that are going to cause you distress. one of the most important factors is try to deal with your stress and help your friend become less stressed and more relaxed. because a stressed brain is really damaging to the hypocampus. you want to get yourself into a place where you can focus on one thing, relax, be calm, laugh, have fun, and have fun with your friend and do things together so that you will be able to encourage your friend to sleep more, eat right, exercise.

   >> not to smoke, i know that.

   >> not to smoke. the arteries to the brain can get clogged, vascular issues. you definitely want to tell people --

   >> quickly, what don't you do?

   >> don't roll your eyes when someone forgot something and say, oh, my god, i think you have early alzheimer's. you don't test them and say, well, i told you this yesterday, don't you remember? that raise it is anxiety and stress and makes a person feel that you are not going to want to be with them. understand that we all have this and some of us worse than others. but if you do things that are familiar, do things that are fun, if you do things that will engage the person and help them to feel engaged with you and that you still value them and that even if they forget things from time to time they are not less a person and they are not less interesting, then you can engage their spirit and you can have them feel as if they are not losing it. it's normal. it is. it just slows down a bit.

   >> exactly. dale atkins , i remembered your name. i'm so glad. thank you very much.

   >> when you say the person's name three times aloud it helps you keep it in your mind.

   >> thank you so much, dale atkins , dale atkins . we'll be back tomorrow for dealing with

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