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Actor Tom Cruise arrives for awards ceremony in Rome with new girlfriend Katie Holmes
Chris Helgren  /  Reuters file
Tom Cruise with his latest girlfriend, Katie Holmes. Is it real or is it publicity?
By Movies Editor
msnbc.com
updated 6/10/2005 6:15:55 PM ET 2005-06-10T22:15:55
COMMENTARY

Is Tom Cruise’s relationship with Katie Holmes real?

Who knows. What is remarkable, however, is seeing the once hyper-private Cruise literally leaping on Oprah Winfrey’s couch to declare his love for the former “Dawson’s Creek” cutie — a move that smacked of desperation rather than sincerity. It felt like a bird’s eye view of Tom Cruise’s midlife crisis — not pretty. Hasn’t Oprah told the 42-year old that 40 is the new 30? When he finally dragged Holmes out on stage, the girl had the quintessential deer-caught-in-the-headlights look. One can only puzzle over what the 26-year-old starlet thought of Cruise’s display. Heck, what if it turns out she’s “just not that into him”? After all his posturing, he’d be an awfully hard guy to break up with. Looking at it with a jaded eye, the whole thing came off like the extreme-sports version of a publicity stunts. But was it?

Strange behavior seems to be normal behavior for Tom Terrific these days. In addition to mooning over Holmes, Cruise suddenly can’t seem to stop talking about Scientology. He recently chastised actress Brooke Shields for using prescription drugs to help overcome her post-partum depression. In his “Access Hollywood” interview, when Billy Bush asked if former wife Nicole Kidman minded that their kids were being raised as Scientologists, Cruise replied that she did not mind because she was not a “bigot.”

Wait a sec, scoffing at a “religion” like Scientology makes you a bigot? Who is this guy, and what has he done with the real Tom Cruise?

When Cruise split from longtime publicist and guard dog Pat Kingsley and gave her job to his sister Lee Anne DeVette (a fellow Scientologist), everything he’d been holding inside finally came spilling out. We already knew Cruise was a Scientologist, but these days he seems to be actively recruiting. Cruise even had a Scientology tent on the “War of the Worlds” set – which, according to the New York Times, didn’t thrill Universal executives. He may even be jeopardizing “Mission Impossible 3” with his evangelism, which according to the Huffington Post, has been put on hold. Note: this has since been settled.

Behold, the new Cruise
My first taste of the new Cruise came while watching an episode of “Inside the Actors’ Studio.” The ever-effusive James Lipton pointed out that many of Cruise’s characters had absent fathers – such as in “Top Gun” and “A Few Good Men.” Since Cruise’s own father left his family when the star was young, Lipton asked if Cruise drew on his own experience to help him prepare for those roles. “No,” Cruise emphatically replied. He insisted that he simply used imagination to create those characters. OK, but why wouldn’t he draw on those past experiences? Cruise doesn’t need to use his imagination to know what it’s like to be without a father. And yet, he was insistent. He was so vehement in his response; it was as if he refused to believe those bad memories actually existed.

Of course, in the context of his disbelief in psychiatry as a science and his belief prescription drugs used for mental illness are harmful, it starts to make sense. In that context, Cruise becomes a guy who believes he can will things to happen. He can will his painful past to go away, he can will himself into loving Holmes, he can will “War of the Worlds” into making box office magic. And it makes sense; the guy is the most successful movie star around. The power of positive thinking works for him. At least, up until now.

But what seems positive to him may come off as unhinged to his fans. At the end of the “Actors Studio” episode, he talked about L. Ron Hubbard and what Scientology had done for him. Because he was talking to acting students who were there to hear about craft, it seemed completely out of place. And it’s the intensity with which he talks about Scientology that is so unnerving. His true believer zeal is in-your-face in every single interview now. Haven’t we already been through this with Mel Gibson?

Damage control
Is it fair to expect Cruise to behave “normal”? When you’re surrounded by yes-men telling you that every decision you make is correct — and have the millions to prove it — how could you possibly be expected to be normal? Just ask Michael Jackson.

Perhaps what’s disturbing to fans is that for so long Cruise was the ultimate nice guy. My sister has had a crush on him since we were both teenagers. There was something sort of innocuous and asexual about him — the safe guy to inhabit your teen daughters’ fantasies. Except for those pesky rumors that he was gay, he seemed to have almost no baggage — nothing you had to drag into the theater with you when you went to see one of his films.

Some speculate that if the Holmes/Cruise relationship is just a publicity stunt, it’s a way for the 42-year-old Cruise to connect with younger fans. And yet, that doesn’t mesh with the intensity of Cruise’s personality. I get the sense that Cruise acts based on a sincere belief — that it's the only way he knows how to behave. Only Holmes, Kidman, Mimi Rogers and Penelope Cruz know the truth about Cruise’s personal life — and they’re not telling. As for it being a publicity stunt, in the past 10 years, he’s only made two films that haven’t grossed more than $100 million in the U.S. — “Magnolia” and “Eyes Wide Shut.” So why use such extreme measures now to connect to fans? Tom Cruise doesn’t have to will fans into the theater, they’re already coming — especially when Steven Spielberg is at the helm.

It’s hard to say whether Cruise’s outbursts will have a negative effect on his career. Although I shake my head every time he opens his mouth these days, I still want to see “War of the Worlds.” Yet, I’ll never quite be able to see Cruise the same way. It will take more than Cruise’s power of positive thinking to bring back the nice guy with the megawatt smile. Now, he’s the zealot who jumps on Oprah’s couch like a love-crazed monkey and lectures America about our nasty pharmaceutical habits. Can I please have back Joel Goodsen now?

© 2012 msnbc.com Reprints

Photos: Tom Cruise

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  1. What a view!

    Actor Tom Cruise may be many things, but don't say he's afraid of heights. The actor did some of his own stunts for 2011's "Mission: Impossible -- Ghost Protocol." Here he hangs off the world's tallest skyscraper, the Burj Khalifa, in Dubai. (Paramount Pictures) Back to slideshow navigation
  2. Konnichiwa!

    Cruise greets Japanese fans upon his arrival at Tokyo's Haneda Airport on Nov. 30, 2011. Cruise was promoting his new film "Mission Impossible - Ghost Protocol." (Yoshikazu Tsuno / AFP - Getty Images) Back to slideshow navigation
  3. Painted ponies

    Cruise and daughter Suri visit Schenley Plaza's carousel on Oct. 8, 2011 in Pittsburgh. (James Devaney / WireImage) Back to slideshow navigation
  4. Honored

    Cruise receives the Humanitarian Award at the Simon Wiesenthal Center's Annual National Tribute Dinner at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel on May 5, 2011 in Beverly Hills, Calif. Cruise is a longtime supporter of the Wiesenthal Center and its Museum of Tolerance. (Kevin Winter / Getty Images) Back to slideshow navigation
  5. Dad and son take in some hoops

    Tom and Connor Cruise attend a game between the New Orleans Hornets and the Los Angeles Lakers at Staples Center on March 27, 2011 in Los Angeles. (Noel Vasquez / Getty Images) Back to slideshow navigation
  6. Red carpet

    Cruise and wife Katie Holmes arrive at The ReelzChannel World premiere of "The Kennedys" at AMPAS Samuel Goldwyn Theater on March 28, 2011 in Beverly Hills, Calif. (John Sciulli / Getty Images) Back to slideshow navigation
  7. On a 'Mission'

    Jeremy Renner, Tom Cruise and actress Paula Patton pose for a picture after holding a press conference about "Mission: Impossible -- Ghost Protocol" in Dubai on Oct. 29, 2010. (- / AFP - Getty Images) Back to slideshow navigation
  8. Strap your hands across my engines

    Cruise and Cameron Diaz ride a motorcycle during shooting of "Knight & Day," in Seville, Spain, on Dec. 11, 2009. (Javier Barbancho / Reuters) Back to slideshow navigation
  9. Daddy-daughter time

    Cruise and daughter Suri, 3, visit Charles River Basin in Cambridge, Mass. on Oct. 10, 2009. (James Devaney / WireImage) Back to slideshow navigation
  10. Getting their kicks

    Cruise and his two oldest children, Connor Kidman-Cruise, second from right, and Isabella Kidman-Cruise, right, root for family friend David Beckham during a Los Angeles Galaxy soccer game in Carson, Calif., on July 19, 2009. (Gabriel Bouys / AFP - Getty Images) Back to slideshow navigation
  11. Revving up

    Cruise and father-in-law Martin Joseph Holmes prepare to drive the car that was used in the film "Days of Thunder" at Daytona International Speedway in Daytona Beach, Fla., on Feb. 15, 2009. (Rusty Jarrett / Getty Images for NASCAR) Back to slideshow navigation
  12. Stalking Hitler

    In 2008's "Valkyrie," Cruise stars as Col. Claus von Stauffenberg, a Nazi officer who sets into motion a plot to assassinate Adolf Hitler. German officials were not always supportive of the actor shooting scenes in their country. (United Artists) Back to slideshow navigation
  13. Anything but glib

    Cruise showed up to help roast TODAY co-host Matt Lauer, right, at the Friar's Club on Oct. 25, 2008, in New York. Cruise, who was famously roasted by bloggers and other pundits after a 2005 interview with Lauer in which he called the anchor "glib," had the house in stitches. (NBC) Back to slideshow navigation
  14. Bringing the 'Thunder'

    Cruise, center, poses for the cameras with Brandon T. Jackson, far left, Jack Black, left, Bill Hader, rear, Ben Stiller, right, and Matthew McConaughey at the premiere of "Tropic Thunder" in Los Angeles on Monday, Aug. 11, 2008. Cruise received rave reviews for his hilarious turn as a studio executive in the flim. (Matt Sayles / AP) Back to slideshow navigation
  15. No feast for lambs

    Meryl Streep, left, and Cruise star in "Lions For Lambs," the first release from Cruise's United Artists studio. The film cost $35 million to make, but failed to break into the top three at the U.S. box office when it opened Nov. 9, 2007, with just $6.7 million. To date, the film has earned $14.9 million in the United States. (David James / MGM via AP) Back to slideshow navigation
  16. Courageous Cruise

    Cruise brought wife Katie Holmes to the Bambi media prize awards in Dusseldorf, Germany, in November 2007. The actor was honored with the courage award for his portrayal of Col. Claus von Stauffenberg in "Valkyrie." (Michael Gottschalk / AFP - Getty Images) Back to slideshow navigation
  17. Happy couple

    Cruise and Holmes pose in their wedding attire at the 15th-century Odescalchi Castle overlooking Lake Bracciano outside of Rome. (AP) Back to slideshow navigation
  18. Roman holiday

    Cruise, with daughter Suri in tow, celebrated with Holmes in Rome on the eve of their Saturday, Nov. 17, 2006 wedding. (Andrew Medichini / AP) Back to slideshow navigation
  19. 'Mission' terminated

    Cruise returned again to the "Mission: Impossible" franchise in 2006 to star in "Mission: Impossible III" for Paramount Pictures. Sumner Redstone, whose company owns the studio, praised the film as "the best of the three movies" in the action series but still said the studio would sever its 14-year relationship with Cruise's film production company. (Paramount Pictures) Back to slideshow navigation
  20. L'amour fou

    Holmes and Cruise show off her new engagement ring after Cruise popped the question in Paris. Speculation was surging over whether they were actually in love or if their public displays of affection were some kind of elaborate publicity stunt. Did Cruise's Eiffel Tower marriage proposal end the whispers? Not at all. (Jean-Paul Pelissier / Reuters) Back to slideshow navigation
  21. 'You're glib'

    It was during a pointed interview with NBC's Matt Lauer in June 2005 that many Cruise-watchers began wondering whether the star's Scientology beliefs might be hurting his public image. After Lauer questioned Cruise about those beliefs and his opposition to the use of antidepressants, the actor became visibly agitated. (Virginia Sherwood / NBC via AP) Back to slideshow navigation
  22. Couch jumping

    In May 2005, Cruise appeared on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" and created a media storm when he declared his love for Katie Holmes. The actor jumped on the talk-show host's couch, pumped his fist and brought the young starlet out on stage. Prior to this, the actor had been rather close-mouthed about his private life. (George Burns / AP) Back to slideshow navigation
  23. This means 'War'

    Tim Robbins, left, Cruise and Dakota Fanning try to escape aliens in Steven Spielberg’s “War of the Worlds.” The film is a retelling of the classic H.G. Wells story about aliens invading Earth. (Paramount Pictures) Back to slideshow navigation
  24. Cruz meets Cruise

    Cruise met actress Penelope Cruz on the set of Cameron Crowe’s 2001 film, “Vanilla Sky.” Though many thought their relationship was an attempt to gain publicity for the film, the two actors dated for almost three years before amicably splitting. (Paramount Pictures) Back to slideshow navigation
  25. Stunt man

    Cruise reprised his role as Ethan Hunt in “Mission: Impossible 2.” The actor reportedly scared director John Woo by insisting on doing his own stunts for the film. (Getty Images / Getty Images) Back to slideshow navigation
  26. Indie turn

    Cruise surprised audiences with his role as sexist motivational speaker Frank T.J. Mackey in Paul Thomas Anderson’s 1999 film, “Magnolia.” The actor took a pay cut to do the film and received an Oscar nomination for his role. (Peter Sorel / AFP - Getty Images) Back to slideshow navigation
  27. Romance ends

    Stanley Kubrick’s final film was 1999’s “Eyes Wide Shut.” Cruise starred opposite then-wife Nicole Kidman as a disgruntled husband who tries to gain entry into a strange sexual gathering. The film was a box-office disappointment. Kidman and Cruise divorced in 2001. The couple has two adopted children. (Warner Bros.) Back to slideshow navigation
  28. Show me the money

    Cuba Gooding, Jr. won an Oscar for his role as Rod Tidwell in Cameron Crowe’s “Jerry Maguire.” Cruise, who was nominated for an Oscar, stars as a sports agent who romances Renee Zellweger while trying to keep his failing career afloat. (TriStar Pictures) Back to slideshow navigation
  29. Mission accomplished

    Cruise starred as Ethan Hunt in Brian DePalma’s big-screen adaptation of the classic TV show, “Mission: Impossible.” This classic scene is an homage to a similar scene in the 1964 film, “Topakai.” (Paramount Pictures) Back to slideshow navigation
  30. Vamping

    Long before the "Twilight" books resurrected the undead vampire trend, Cruise, left and Brad Pitt, starred as vampires Lestat and Louis in 1994's "Interview With a Vampire," based on Anne Rice's novel. (Everett Collection) Back to slideshow navigation
  31. Good soldier

    Cruise starred opposite Jack Nicholson in "A Few Good Men," a courtroom drama in which Cruise’s feisty young attorney confronts Nicholson’s crusty Marine colonel. (Sony Pictures) Back to slideshow navigation
  32. The need for speed

    Cruise fell in love with co-star Nicole Kidman during the making of the auto racing film "Days of Thunder" in 1990. The couple wed in December of that year and were together for 10 years before separating and eventually divorcing. (Paramount Pictures) Back to slideshow navigation
  33. Yankee Doodle Dandy

    In Oliver Stone's 1989 film, "Born on the Fourth of July," Cruise played Vietnam veteran Ron Kovic, earning his first Oscar nomination for the emotional role. (Everett Collection) Back to slideshow navigation
  34. Cruise gets serious

    Cruise left action behind when he starred opposite Dustin Hoffman in Barry Levinson’s 1988 film “Rain Man.” Hoffman won an Oscar for his role as an autistic savant who drives across the country with his brother. (United Artists) Back to slideshow navigation
  35. Wing man

    Perhaps Cruise’s most popular role was as Lt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell in the 1986 film “Top Gun” opposite Val Kilmer and Kelly McGillis. The film tells the story of student fighter pilots who compete to be the best of their class. (Paramount Pictures) Back to slideshow navigation
  36. Wife number one

    Cruise and Mimi Rogers were married in 1987 and divorced in 1990. Rogers is known for her roles in films like “Someone to Watch Over Me” and “Lost in Space.” She also introduced Cruise to Scientology, which became a major part of his life, although she herself later left the group. (Lennox Mclendon / AP) Back to slideshow navigation
  37. Making a splash

    Cruise's first major role came starring opposite Rebecca De Mornay in the 1983 film "Risky Business." When his parents leave town, Cruise’s Joel Goodson expresses his joy about having the house to himself by letting loose to Bob Seger’s "Old Time Rock and Roll." The sliding on wood floors in your underwear scene has been endlessly parodied, but no one did it like Cruise. (Warner Bros.) Back to slideshow navigation
  38. Beginning of the Brat Pack

    Cruise played a minor role in 1983's "The Outsiders," taking a part alongside numerous actors who would go on to major stardom and many of whom would become part of the group dubbed the Brat Pack. Shown here from left are Emilio Estevez, Rob Lowe, C. Thomas Howell, Matt Dillon, Ralph Macchio, Patrick Swayze and Cruise. (Warner Bros.) Back to slideshow navigation
  39. Day is done

    Cruise first came to critics' attention in 1981's "Taps," as one of a group of military school students who take over their school in order to save it from closing and being sold for condominiums. (Everett Collection) Back to slideshow navigation
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