When Anne-Marie,* the president and CEO of a start-up medical device company in Philadelphia, first began thinking of having a child on her own, she was 37 and her biological clock was ticking loudly.

As much as she wanted to be in a great, loving relationship with a partner, she wanted a baby even more. “If I turned 50 and didn't have children," she says, "I'd be pretty devastated."

So after about a year of weighing her options and considering what it would be like to be a mother on her own, she did something a growing number of single women are doing: She chose an anonymous donor through a sperm bank and started her attempts to get pregnant, using drugs to encourage the growth of egg-producing follicles.

For seven months, Anne-Marie, now 42, did monthly inseminations, stopping for a year after she began, and then ended, a relationship. When she resumed her efforts, and after a total of 13 tries, she conceived her first son, Pierre, born in November 2002.

Birth of a movement
Experts who follow single parenthood say more women than ever are choosing to get pregnant on their own, or adopt a child without a partner. But there are few hard numbers to point to.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention notes that preliminary birth data for 2003 show a 4 percent jump from 2002 in the number of births to unmarried women; nearly 35 percent of births in 2003 were to unmarried women. But that number includes women whose partner may be in the picture as well as women who go it alone.

Children’s Hope International, an international adoption agency, notes that nearly 13 percent of their adoptions are by singles.

And in the 24 years since starting Single Mothers by Choice (SMC), Jane Mattes, a psychotherapist and author of "Single Mothers by Choice: A Guidebook for Single Women Who Are Considering or Have Chosen Motherhood" (Three Rivers Press, 1994), says she's seen tremendous growth in numbers. She started with eight members and now has more than 2000.

So what’s driving this trend? It comes as no surprise to hear that much comes down to timing. “The majority of women who become single moms by choice did want to get married," says Mattes. "The reasons why they make this choice haven’t changed: They want to have children and if they’re not married or they’ve divorced they want to have them before it’s too late.”

For many women, the much-mocked biological clock may seem to wind down all too quickly, especially for those who are enjoying a wonderful time in their lives with good friends, a nice home and interesting, well-compensated work. Then they realize they have little time left — and sometimes none — for having children.

“I think a lot of the reason there are more single women becoming pregnant on their own is because of careers,” says Anne-Marie. “I went to a big-name undergrad school and a big-name grad school, I traveled a lot, I worked overseas. It’s hard to meet somebody, if you didn’t want to date someone from work. All of a sudden you’re 37, 38 and you think ‘I should have prioritized this more.’ But you’re just doing what you enjoy.”

After her own wake-up call, Anne-Marie put on what she calls “the full-court press.”

“I joined a dating service and for six, nine, 12 months, I was dating more than I ever had," she says. "Nothing came out of it, which is no surprise because with every man it was like, are you marriageable? Do you want kids?”

Mattes, who is arguably the midwife to this movement, says she has seen big changes in both the perception of single motherhood by choice and the choices women are making about how to create their families.

“The biggest change is that people know about it,” says Mattes. “It’s not such a shock when someone says they had a baby alone; people always seem to know someone now.’”

*Anne-Marie did not want her last name used to protect the privacy of her children. "This is as much (if not more so) my sons' story as mine," she says. "When they are older and can decide how much they want to tell people, whatever I've already said cannot be taken away."

MORE FROM HEALTH

Health Section Front

David Duchovny not alone in sex addiction Fed up as 'fat mom,' she lost 127 pounds Food for thought: Thinking makes us pig out Kids bored with breakfast? Get creative Vitamins, family style: What to take when Wise answers to old wives' tales Experts: ‘Cheating gene’ not a predictor Leading geneticist to pen book on disease Battle of the bulge: How to blast back fat It’s back-to-school time for bedbugs Health Section Front   Add Health headlines to your news reader: